It's Been a Long, Long, Time
by rjwritergirl
Summary: After returning the Infinity Stones, Steve Rogers goes back in time to finally live the life he's always wanted with Peggy Carter. What is his life like? Does the world find out that Captain America is still alive? Set a few months after the Valkerie went down.
1. Chapter 1

_**It's been a long long time**_

_I know that a lot of people have problems with Steve's ending in Endgame, but I didn't. I've shipped Steve and Peggy since they had their first scene together in The First Avenger. I'm overjoyed they got a happy ending in at least one time stream. My question is; How did Steve make himself known to Peggy? Did she think he was a vision, or that she was hallucinating? In this time stream did he not crash into the ice?_

_I've seen the first season of Agent Carter, but won't be following the storyline of that season, but do intend to bring in various characters from the show in future chapters._

**September 14th 1945;**

Peggy knew it was futile to show up, but part of her held onto a tiny shred of hope. Stork Club, 8 o'clock. She'd even left work early to make sure she wasn't late.

Unsurprisingly, Steve didn't show up. Just like he hadn't shown up every Friday for the past 3 months. She mentally kicked herself. Steve had gone down somewhere in the arctic; it was impossible for him to have gotten out of the ice and to New York. And even if he had somehow managed that miracle, she would have heard that Captain America was back. He would have said anything, not just shown up at the Stork Club out of nowhere. The war was declared over as of two weeks before. How would Steve even know that she'd gone to the Stork Club again? That she'd been going every Friday night since he'd crashed?

She was a fool.

A handsome soldier in uniform approached her, but she shook her head before he could get a word out. She had her heart set on dancing with Steve and another man wouldn't do. Not tonight, maybe not ever.

"Excuse me, but are you Peggy Carter?" A voice made her turn. There was a man at the next table, he was speaking to the women there. The women shook their heads and Peggy stood.

"I'm Peggy Carter." she said, it came out too quietly and she took a step on the dance floor and raised her hand. "I'm Peggy Carter." She spoke louder. The man turned and smiled as he made eye contact with her.

"Oh yes, he described you. This was delivered for you at the front." He gave her a thin envelope, "He said you might want to open this in private." The doorman's voice was low.

Peggy reached for the envelope and nodded, "Of course, thank you." She turned and made her way off the dance floor. She might as well leave, she wasn't going to dance tonight. Only once she was outside the dance hall did she look at the letter.

The front of the envelope was bare except for her name; " Peggy ". It took a moment for the handwriting to sink in, she froze. How had Steve written her a letter? Peggy almost opened it where she stood, but stopped herself. If Steve had written her, she needed to open this alone. She shoved it into her purse and set off for home. She tore open the letter as soon as she was in her room, and read;

My dearest Peggy:

I know you must be wondering how I've written this letter. I've tried writing everything out, but the short version is: It's complicated. I'd love to tell you in person. But you need to come prepared for a long explanation that will exceed anything you could ever dream up.

She paused reading. This was Steve's handwriting. This was from her Steve. But how? How had he gotten out of the ice and back to her? What was so complicated that he couldn't put it in a letter? Why had he sent her a letter and not shown up at her apartment or on base? She sat on her bed and sifted through the papers. There was only one other paper in the envelope. A drawing of a monkey on a unicycle carrying an umbrella and Captain America's shield.

Her brow furrowed. She remembered Steve drawing this. How had he gotten this? Steve's personal effects were under lock and key. There's no way he could have gotten this drawing without someone knowing he was back. Colonel Phillips would have told her if someone had broken into SSR headquarters to steal Captain America's personal effects.

But this was Steve's drawing and Steve's handwriting.

She turned back to the letter;

I'm at 124 C Amanda Street, in Brooklyn. I have to warn you though, if we start talking, this conversation will be the longest I've ever had with a woman. I hope to see you soon.

Love, your Steve

* * *

Steve heard the nosy landlady open her door and peer into the hall as he made his way to his apartment. He jammed his key into the lock and hurried inside; he didn't feel like answering questions.

Once inside, he paced the length of the short hallway in his new apartment. It was 9pm, he'd hurried home from the Stork Club where he'd asked the doorman to deliver the letter to Peggy. He'd watched from across the street as Peggy entered the club. He'd almost run forward and gotten her attention, but common sense had prevailed. Would she believe that he was back? Or would she have believed him to be a fake or a hallucination?

He blew out a breath. Should he get ready for bed? Should he really expect Peggy to show up to his apartment this late? She was too much of a lady, she would probably wait until morning.

Did she believe the letter? As proof, he'd included one of the drawings she'd caught him working on. He'd even managed to slip in a lame joke about how he didn't have much experience talking with women. He hoped that she remembered their first proper conversation.

Had he been too forward in his letter, beginning it "My Peggy" and ending it "Your Steve?" Yes, they'd kissed, and _he_ had felt a connection. But had Peggy? Had their kiss only been adrenaline on her part? Now that she'd had time to think, did she regret it? Just because she kept his picture on her desk in 1970 that didn't mean she was in love with him.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. Praying it wasn't his landlady, he approached the door and opened it, swallowing hard as he saw her. "Peggy."

Peggy smiled, looking even more beautiful then he remembered. "Hello, Steve." For a moment, Steve stood there, his mouth working silently. Then he opened the door wider for Peggy to come through. She eyed him as she did. An eyebrow rose, along with one side of her mouth. "You're late."

_Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here's chapter 2, hope ya'll enjoy it! Thanks so much for those who have reviewed or Favorited this story!**_

* * *

Peggy leaned back in her chair, the cup of tea Steve had made her was now cold. "Time travel." It came out as a statement, not a question.

"Yes." Steve said quietly. It was late now, close to midnight, or just past. They had been talking steadily for 3 hours and the only light in the apartment was a small light in the corner of the kitchen.

"It seems too fantastic to believe, but it's too fantastic not to believe," Peggy said. She believed it was Steve in front of her. He knew too much about her and their friendship to be an imposter. But time travel?

"I don't blame you for having doubts. I can hardly believe it and I lived through it myself." He dug around one of his pockets while Peggy spoke.

"I almost didn't believe the letter except for the drawing you enclosed." She set her cup down before fiddling with her purse. "This drawing," she gripped it in her hands. "Along with all your other personal effects are under lock and key at SSR headquarters. I watched Colonel Phillips box your things myself. I don't even know their exact location, that's how classified that information is."

"SHIELD gave me back my personal effects once I woke up." He gestured to the drawing in Peggy's hand. "That's the actual drawing you saw me working on." He held out the compass, their hands brushed as Peggy took it. She fumbled opening it but finally, her picture stared back at her. She looked at it for a long moment before looking back up at Steve.

Peggy's vision blurred for a moment and she blinked hard before she spoke again. "You came back to me."

Steve smiled. "I couldn't leave my best girl." He shifted in his chair, leaning forward. One of his hands covered one of hers. "I tried to move on, but I couldn't forget you. Through everything that happened, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't stop thinking of the life I had dreamed of having with you and..." Steve broke off. "When I got the chance to come home, I took it. I knew I'd forever regret not trying." There was a long pause. "You're taking this incredibly well." He gave her a careful look. "I didn't expect you to believe me so easily."

"To be honest, part of me wonders if you're a hallucination." Peggy laughed so she wouldn't cry. "I'm half expecting to be woken up by Colonel Phillips and to be told to 'go home, it's late." She quoted a phrase she'd heard entirely too often in the last six months of the war. "I've dreamt of you showing up a few times. This is the most realistic dream I've had though."

"I'm real." Steve promised.

"Why now?" Peggy asked.

"I wanted it to be after the war. Lessen the chances of anyone recognizing me. But I didn't want it to be too long after." Steve said carefully.

"Thank you, for not letting me believe you're dead for years." Peggy said.

"I figured you'd appreciate that." Steve said.

"Why not just give Howard the coordinates for where you were found?" Peggy asked. "Why go through the difficulty of finding me and explaining everything?"

"The Arctic is changing all the time, just because I was found at one set of coordinates in 2011 that doesn't mean that I'm there now." Steve explained. "Plus, the technology that helped bring me out of the frozen hibernation hasn't been invented yet. If I'm found now, I may not wake up at all."

"When did you get back?" Peggy pulled out a handkerchief but Steve shifted forward again. After taking the handkerchief from her hands he gently brushed her tears away. Peggy blushed as their eyes locked and Steve smiled. He'd changed. He was more confident, he'd obviously been through more than crashing the Valkyrie. That much was obvious, even if he hadn't spent the last three hours explaining things like Thanos and Chitari to her.

"2 weeks ago. I wanted to get an apartment before I let you know I was here. Thankfully, Mrs. Francatelli was willing to rent to me without a deposit, or any references." Steve said "I didn't tell you right away so I could have time to get set up. Even if you don't believe it's me, I've wanted to come back. The 21st century is very overwhelming."

"How did you know I was still going to the Stork Club?" Peggy tilted her head to one side, curious. She would have noticed someone spying on her.

"I actually figured it out on accident." Steve admitted, "I was coming home from the grocer last week and I noticed you going in. I nearly approached you then, but I started asking questions at the front and decided to send you the letter."

"I'm glad you came back." Peggy said. "I've missed you." She smiled and placed a hand on Steve's. "I still think there could have been a way for us to save you."

"I was a bit dramatic as I plowed into the arctic." Steve chuckled. "We might have been able to figure something out, but we didn't have enough time."

"You dramatic?" Peggy teased. "Not the Steve Rogers I know!" They both laughed, but Steve shushed her.

"My landlady is nosy, she'll ask questions if we make too much noise late at night."

Peggy tilted her head. "What did you tell her your name was?" A small smile played on her lips. She leaned forward towards Steve. "You couldn't have said Steve Rogers."

"I told her Grant Carter." Steve's voice lowered in slight embarrassment. "Since it's my middle name, I'm familiar enough with Grant and Carter ... kind of slipped out."

Peggy's smile softened. "I like it." she straightened and grew a little more business like. "Besides, if both our last names are Carter it'll be easier to explain why I'm spending the night."

"I'm not saying no," Steve paused, there was an unspoken but that hovered, unsaid. They locked eyes and Peggy swallowed hard at the desire in Steve's eyes. "Are you sure?"

"You still don't know much about women, do you?" Peggy asked, smiling. "If I wasn't sure, I would have waited until tomorrow morning to come over."

"Saving the world multiple times doesn't exactly give you the chance to go out and..." Steve felt his cheeks grow warm, "… learn about women." There was a silent beat. "If you'll have me, I'm yours, Peggy. But I don't want to pressure you. I've changed a lot. It's your choice." They locked eyes.

"My choice?" Peggy asked.

"Yes." Steve spoke without breaking eye contact.

Peggy stood, "Now that I have you back, I have absolutely no intention of letting you go." She stood beside his chair for a moment and placed a hand on Steve's chest. "I'm going to bed," her hand slid over Steve's shoulder as she walked in the direction of the bedroom. "I expect you to join me."

Steve leapt from his chair and followed Peggy into the hallway. She strode towards the doorway to the bedroom but Steve grabbed her hand, turned her around and backed her up against the wall. Faintly, it registered that he had a hand on either side of her, but the only thing she could think about was kissing Steve again.

Then he came to a halt, a breath away from Peggy's face. The light from the kitchen barely filtered into the hallway but Peggy could see Steve swallow hard as he stepped forward. Although they weren't touching, Peggy could feel how warm Steve was. For a long moment, Steve and Peggy didn't move.

Peggy half expected him to pull back, mutter something about 'being a gentleman' and put a respectable amount of distance between them. Instead, one of his hands came up, his thumb gently stroked her cheek.

We're going to stand here all night if I don't do something, Peggy realized, and she closed the distance herself. Peggy felt Steve's hands cupping her face for a moment before they moved lower. He was gentle at first, but when Peggy returned the kiss he pulled her flush against his body and deepened the kiss.

Someone moaned but she wasn't sure if it was her or Steve. She knew it was her that whimpered when Steve's tongue teased hers. She gripped his shirt, suddenly dizzy with desire.

They broke apart, breathing hard. Steve's hands had moved to her waist, he was gripping her like he was drowning and she was his raft. "Fuck, Peggy, my dreams weren't even half this good," Steve whispered as Peggy let go of his shirt and smoothed the wrinkles.

Blue eyes locked with brown. Steve pulled her close before kissing her again. Peggy started to fumble with his shirt and belt. Steve turned his attention to her skirt and simply started pulling her dress up to her waist.

"Unzip, the dress goes down." She ordered, shifting so he could get to the zipper. The dress was half unzipped when there was a loud knocking at the front door of the apartment.

"What. The. Fuck." They jerked apart.

"Mr. Carter?" An older female voice drifted through the door. "I saw a woman enter your apartment a few hours ago and you know I won't have unmarried's spending the night together."

"Fucking…." Steve bit back a couple more swear words and groaned as he turned away. Peggy reached over and mussed Steve's hair.

"What's your landlady's name again?" Peggy asked, she slipped her dress down to the floor and draped it over one of her arms. Steve cleared his throat and swallowed hard at the sight of Peggy in nothing but a slip and camisole.

Peggy seemed to have no idea of the effect she was having on him as she reached up and unpinned her hair. She set two pins on the dresser by the bedroom door before moving to her earrings. She set one hoop earring next to her pins and slipped the other onto her left ring finger.

"Mrs. Francatelli." Steve finally said, his throat dry. "Landlady...Francatelli."

"Shirt off," Peggy ordered, mussing her own hair up, "trousers too, stay in your pants. Come up behind me after I open the door and put an arm around me."

Steve cleared his throat as he watched Peggy practically saunter down the hall in her slip and garter. Peggy paused for a moment as she got to the front door. Her hand rested on one hip and she looked at her dress before she dropped it to the ground and opened the front door.

"Mrs. Francatelli?" Peggy asked, hardly waiting for a response before continuing to talk. "My Grant and I were planning on coming over tomorrow to introduce me. My name is Margaret Carter, I'm his wife." Peggy's left hand came up to show off the makeshift ring before hiding it behind the door. "You can call me Peggy though. I do apologize for alarming you. It was so late when I came in, we didn't think you'd be up and we didn't want to wake you," Peggy said sweetly. "Like I said though, we were planning on going over tomorrow to introduce me."

"I've never heard of this wife of yours before." Mrs. Francatelli said sharply, looking behind Peggy to where Steve had walked up. Steve placed one hand on Peggy's hip and the other covered the hand Peggy was using to hold the door partially open. Peggy could feel Steve pressing a kiss to the top of her head and she smiled. "When I asked if there was a Missus Carter, you looked like I'd kicked a puppy in front of you."

"Her parents don't like me, we got married in secret..."

"We were separated by the war."

Peggy and Steve spoke at the same time. There was an awkward pause and Mrs. Francatelli raised an eyebrow.

"And because of both reasons," Peggy gently stepped on Steve's foot. "We weren't sure we would reunite soon, even with the war over. But a friend of mine had to come over from London and I decided to surprise my husband." There was a pause. "I got in late and then got lost coming here. Again, my apologies."

Mrs. Francatelli looked between the two of them and nodded. "All right." she said, "I'm sorry for interrupting your reunion. Can't be too careful, I don't run a whorehouse, you know."

"Of course not," Peggy said. She closed the door and leaned back against it. The two of them stayed by the front door and listened as Mrs. Francatelli shuffled back to unit D and shut her door.

Peggy giggled and looked up at Steve her eyes sparkling. "Looks like I'm moving in."

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Here's chapter 3, hope ya'll enjoy it!**_

* * *

Before Peggy opened her eyes, she could tell something was different. She heard clanging in her kitchen and she shot upright in bed; who was there? But this wasn't her flat, and she wasn't in military housing. Why was she naked? For a moment she wondered where she was until everything came flooding back. Steve was back. She'd gone over to his apartment incredibly late and they'd spent several hours talking. He'd told her an almost unbelievable story about aliens and time travel. After his landlady had interrupted them, Peggy had lied and said she and Steve were married. Then, she and Steve had made love and talked until the early hours of the morning.

Her body ached pleasantly and she smiled as she stretched. Finally, she slid out of bed. The wardrobe door was open and she glanced into it. There was a man's dressing gown hanging inside and she grabbed it. She'd prefer it to the dress she'd folded and put on Steve's dresser. She padded out to the kitchen. Steve had his back to her, clad only in his pants. She smiled to herself and let her eyes roam over his physique for a moment. Finally, she cleared her throat to announce her presence.

Steve turned, dropping part of an eggshell into the pan on the stove. Peggy's heart skipped a beat and she giggled to herself as Steve blushed and tried to get the shell out. "Sorry if I woke you." He only spoke after he'd gotten the shell out of the egg yolks. The clock on the counter showed it was a few minutes past 9:30.

"It's time I woke up anyway." Peggy pressed a kiss to his cheek. "We'll have..." She stopped as Steve pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. They parted and Steve pressed a second kiss to her forehead. "I wanted to get some things from my flat today," Peggy said. Steve frowned as he turned back to the stove. "I don't have much, but I'm not sure how to bring them here. I can't exactly walk with boxes all the way from Queens."

"Mrs. Francatelli said I could borrow a truck if I ever needed it, I'll go over and ask after breakfast," Steve said quietly.

Peggy started getting a cup of tea ready and she looked around the bare apartment. "Where did you get the furniture from?"

"Mrs. Francitelli," Steve was a bit embarrassed. "I could only bring with me what could fit into my pockets. I made up a sob story about how I'd lost everything to a greedy uncle during the war and didn't even have a bed. Mrs. Francitelli took pity on me."

"Where do you work?" Peggy asked.

"I've been on a few short construction jobs," Steve said, "I don't want construction to be a long term thing, but I need money for the apartment and food, so..." he trailed off as he grabbed a couple of spices from the cabinet. "I'm looking for something else."

"Once Colonel Phillips learns your back, I'm sure he'll be happy to have your input about HYDRA…." Peggy started.

"Right now, I don't want people to know I'm back." Steve interrupted, he blew out a breath. "Me being back could change things and I want to be careful about who finds out."

"True," Peggy said, "But are you going to be able to sit on the sidelines as we fight Hyrda?"

Steve wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he started dishing up the cooked eggs onto a plate. He placed a piece of toast onto the plate as well and pressed it into Peggy's hands and they sat down at the table. "I need a break right now. The world is going to implode if they know I'm back."

Peggy nodded. She knew Steve was not usually one for being the center of attention.

"I was thinking," Steve played with his eggs and looked over at Peggy, "What if we went dancing tonight?" He smiled. "I still owe you that dance."

"I'll make sure to ask the band play something slow, that way I can teach you." Peggy smiled as well. "I assume that you didn't get a chance to learn in the future?"

Steve laughed. "No. A friend actually took me to a club, but I didn't realize that what everyone else was doing was dancing until Sam told me. Dancing is a bit… different in the future."

* * *

Peggy pulled her dress on and smiled as she felt Steve zipping it up behind her. "I'm overjoyed to have you here." Steve hands resting on Peggy's hips as she began pinning her hair. She paused as she heard an unspoken _but_ at the end of the sentence. "This living arrangement we have, I want it to be temporary. I intend on proposing soon," Steve said quietly. Peggy turned and pulled him down for a long kiss.

"And I intend to say yes." One hand came up and threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck. She pulled him down for another kiss. "I wouldn't have lied to Mrs. Francatelli if I didn't intend on actually marrying you."

"I've been looking at rings, but I haven't decided on one yet," Steve said. "Once I get that sorted, I'll propose properly, and we can set a date."

"If it helps, I like opals best." Peggy smiled as she pulled back to finish pinning her hair up.

Steve left Peggy to finish getting ready and went across the hall to talk with Mrs. Francatelli. It only took a few minutes for her to find the keys to the truck. "I'll bring it back tonight," Steve promised. He was leaving Mrs. Francatelli's apartment when he noticed a black car pulling up to the front of the building. A Chaplin and Colonel stepped out.

He quickly turned and went back into his apartment. Colonel Phillips wasn't the one entering the apartment building, but Steve also didn't want to risk anyone from the military recognizing him. Steve heard sharp knocking on Mrs. Francatelli's door.

He walked to the bedroom where Peggy was putting the finishing touches on her hair. She smiled when she saw Steve in the doorway. "Not the best job I've ever done on my hair, but it's good enough for moving day." She said. "I'll have to change into something a little more comfortable at my flat."

The moving went swiftly and it felt like almost no time had passed before Steve and Peggy were unpacking her things in the apartment.

"Steve, darling," Peggy poked her head out of the bathroom where she was setting up her toothbrush and face crème.

"Yes?" Steve picked up a heavy box of kitchen items and carried it in one hand as he waited for Peggy to speak.

"I'm utterly exhausted, could we go dancing next Friday instead?" Peggy suggested. "The Stork Club is only open on the weekends and tomorrow night I can't be out late since I have to be into the office early on Monday."

Steve nodded, "Good idea, we can use this week to settle in."

Peggy came out to the living room and collapsed onto the couch. Steve joined her when the dishes were put away. Peggy smiled as she felt Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. She turned so she could kiss him properly, then shifted so she was straddling him. Steve groaned, "I thought you were utterly exhausted?" He teased, his hands slipping under Peggy's skirt.

Peggy hesitated, her hands splayed across his chest. She smiled though and slowly started to unbutton his shirt, pausing as she reached the bottom. He shifted forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. She returned the kiss, pressing close to him, her hands making contact with his bare chest, her fingertips raked through the soft smattering of chest hair.

Peggy hummed as she broke the kiss to look down at his chest. "Bloody Nora, your body is like Adonis." One finger followed the line of chest hair from his pecs to his navel.

"I don't know that I'd go that far." His hands were warm against her upper thighs. He pulled her close, and she rocked against him. She braced herself with one arm against the back of the sofa as Steve pulled her skirt up even more.

"You though?" One hand moved to tuck an errant lock of hair behind Peggy's ear and his voice lowered to a heated whisper. "Aphrodite."

Peggy's only response was to press her lips to Steve's as she finished untucking his shirt and fumbled with his belt.

* * *

Peggy could feel Steve's heart beating under her ear. One of his hands held hers and the other ghosted its way up and down her bare back. A soft kiss was pressed into her hair and she smiled. She felt a blanket being pulled over her and she let out a content sigh as Steve put his hand on her bare hip.

"I have a couple of questions," Peggy said, not wanting to change the mood they were in, but also curious.

"Yes?"

"You mentioned that you didn't get a chance to learn about women," Peggy smiled. She leaned up so she could look at Steve better. A couple of curls fell into her face and Steve reached up to tuck them behind her ear. "But you're either a very fast study, or you have more experience then you're letting on." She giggled, "which is it?"

Steve flushed red. "I-ummm." He cleared his throat before swallowing as if preparing for battle. "Well, it turns out that women like Captain America. After I woke up, a lot of women practically threw themselves at me."

"Did you catch any of them?" Peggy forced a smile. She suddenly felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, I shouldn't have brought the subject up, she realized.

Steve shook his head. "There were a couple of women who didn't throw themselves at me, but they couldn't hold a candle to you." Steve's cheeks were still tinged with pink. "So, I have a little more experience then I did before but not much and I -I, I ahh, I prefer you in bed."

"Was I in the future?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure how much I should tell you about that."

Peggy nodded, she understood that. She could imagine that if she knew too much about her own future that things could go wrong. "But wouldn't you coming back change the future anyway?" Peggy asked.

Steve stammered for a moment before finally speaking again. "This is a different time stream." He finally said, "There's still a time where you meet your other husband and have a life with him." He took in a breath. "However, in the other stream, there were things that happened in your career that-" Steve paused. "Well, you did a lot of good and I don't want to be responsible for changing those things."

Peggy made a non-committal noise and lay back down on Steve's chest, but a yawn escaped unwillingly.

Steve pressed another kiss to Peggy's hair, "This couch isn't the most comfortable place to sleep, let's go to bed."

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Here's chapter 4, hope ya'll enjoy it! A big thank you to those who have served in the military! Happy Veterans day!**_

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Peggy hummed as she hurried up the stairs to hers and Steve's unit. She could hear yelling upstairs and she shook her head as she entered their flat. She'd moved in less than a week before and she was already tired of her upstairs neighbors. At least she had Steve back. She got changed into something a little more comfortable and went back out to the kitchen to put some tea on.

Steve came in with a load of groceries. "Do you know how long Upstairs has been yelling?" he asked as he started to put some meat into the icebox.

"He was already in the middle of a tirade when I got home, about 15 minutes ago," Peggy said, giving the ceiling a look. "If he doesn't stop, I'm going up there to say something to him."

"He's taller and bigger than I am. With that temper, he'd crush you like a crumb," Steve objected.

"I've seen how large he is, I've held my own against men his size," Peggy turned the look onto him. "Do you not remember who taught you how to use your previous size to your advantage? Or who took out Private Hodges with one punch?"

Steve paused, "I know you can take care of yourself." He said, "I just worry that a woman correcting him will make..." He pointed upstairs as the man continued to yell. "...that worse for his wife. He might react better to being told to knock it off from a fellow soldier, that's all."

Peggy pressed a kiss to Steve's lips. "You're sweet to worry, my darling," she said. "Now, have you given any thought to when you want to tell Phillips that you're back?" She changed the subject. "I understand not telling the whole world right away, but I do think that there are a few people who need to know."

"We do need to tell him." Steve agreed, he grabbed a bottle of milk from the small refrigerator. "If my memory serves, then I know where 15 Hydra bases are, and I'm sure the SSR will want that intel" He took in a deep breath. "There's also something, or someone I hope we'll find in Europe."

"Oh? And who is that?"

"Bucky." Steve poured himself a glass of milk and put the bottle back into the fridge.

"What?" Peggy paused. "Steve, darling; he died." Her heart clenched. After all the time that had passed, was he still not over his friend's death?

"No, he didn't," Steve corrected, "HYDRA has a form of Super Soldier Serum. Before I got there to save the 107th, HYDRA had already started experimenting on Bucky with it. He survived the fall from the train. HYDRA found him and continued to experiment." Steve started setting the table. "They turned him into a trained assassin, they called him Winter Soldier. He was still alive in 2011 when I came out of the ice.

"SHIELD finally figured out who he was and what had happened; it took years for Bucky to come out of the hypnosis and fog. Even afterward, he wasn't the same person he was when HYDRA got their hands on him. I'm hoping if we find Bucky soon, we'll be able to help him out faster and better." Steve said.

"That makes sense," Peggy said, thinking. She knew that HYDRA had been trying to figure out a super-soldier serum similar to Erskine's. It was entirely possible that they had figured it out.

They were nearly done eating when there was a couple of thumps and then a shout from upstairs. A door slammed and they could hear the husband coming downstairs.

"Think I'll go out for a pack of cigarettes." Steve abandoned what was left of his dinner.

"I didn't realize you smoked." This was news to Peggy, she hadn't seen him smoking or smelled any cigarette smoke on him in the past few days.

"I don't anymore," Steve allowed, "but upstairs doesn't know that, I'll smoke part of one and give him the rest of the pack saying you don't like the smell." He grabbed his coat and wallet on the way out the door. "If me talking to him doesn't work, we'll try your way, all right?" Steve sent her a grin and left the apartment.

* * *

It was past 8 when he got home. Peggy could hear Steve and the upstairs husband talking in the hall before Steve finally came in. He smiled when he saw Peggy stretched out on the sofa, a knitting project in her lap and the radio playing a soft tune in the corner.

"How did it go?" she asked as she finished knitting a row on her project. Steve took his jacket off and put his wallet and keys in the pockets. He took the compass out of his pants pocket and then set it on the shelf with the phonograph.

"Pretty well. I don't like the man, but we're going to meet up at the gym next week," Steve said.

"You're more patient than I am, I'd have given him a right cross for that tirade." Peggy set her knitting aside.

"When I first woke up, I had a hard time adjusting." Steve admitted, "When I went to the VA in DC, I learned about something called PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is what they call it in the future. You'd know it as shell shock or battle fatigue." Peggy nodded and Steve kept talking. "A lot of soldiers come home with it. I'm hoping that he's not an abusive shithead, just a PTSD victim." He smiled at Peggy as he took his shoes and socks off before collapsing on the sofa. "If it turns out he's an abusive shithead, I'll hold, you punch."

Peggy laughed and moved to kiss his cheek. Steve turned at the last moment to catch her lips. He pulled her onto his lap and they kissed again. Steve stood, one arm snaking around Peggy's waist, one arm slipped under her ass as he prepared to take her into the bedroom. But before he could start walking down the hall, there was a loud knock on the door.

"What the fuck, Mrs. Francatelli, we told you, we're married." Steve muttered, letting Peggy down. Peggy got her feet under her and stepped away from Steve.

Peggy couldn't help but giggle. "You mean we're not unmarrieds spending our nights in an apartment building that isn't a whorehouse?" Peggy whispered to Steve, who laughed. "I'll get it." Peggy made sure the dressing gown was closed before she opened the door. Steve couldn't see who was at the door, but he saw Peggy's body freeze. There was complete silence at the front door for several long moments. Peggy turned partway to look at Steve. "Darling, could you get your personal effects? The same ones you showed me." Without waiting for an answer; she reached towards the shelf with the phonograph and grabbed Steve's compass.

Steve felt his heart stop for a moment, but nodded and grabbed his shield out from behind the sofa where he'd stored it. "Yeah, sure." He then backed through the hall to get his sketchbook from the dresser.

Steve relaxed, only slightly relieved when he heard Colonel Phillips' voice carry into the apartment. "What aren't you sharing with the class Agent?"

Peggy moved so Colonel Phillips could enter the flat. "I wasn't expecting you, Colonel." She said.

"I know you weren't, that doesn't answer my question." Colonel Phillips took his hat off as Peggy closed the front door. "Friends of mine, Colonel Johnson and Chaplin Smith, said they saw you in this apartment building last week. But this isn't the home address on your file. The man I just saw walking into your apartment is a Captain Rogers look alike." There was a pause and Peggy cleared her throat. "You're far too intelligent to fall for an impostor, Agent."

"That's because I'm not an impostor." Steve stepped out of the dark hallway and into the light of the living room. He held up the Shield and sketchbook.

There was a long moment as Colonel Phillips looked at Steve who lowered the Shield. "More than three months have passed." The Colonel stated as he took in Steve's appearance. "How?"

"It's complicated," Steve said. "It might take a while to explain…."

"Then I suggest you get started because I'm not leaving until I'm sure you're not an imposter." Colonel Phillips turned to Peggy. "How do you know he's actually Rogers?"

"He knows things about private conversations he and I have had, things no impostor would have been able to guess." Peggy held up the compass.

"I assume you live here?" Colonel Phillips gestured to the knitting basket on the floor and cup of tea on the side table, he glanced up at the kerchief and curlers in Peggy's hair.

"Yes, sir." Peggy swallowed hard, unconsciously, one of her hands came up to grip Steve's dressing gown closed. She knew better than Colonel Phillips and Steve did that her career could be ruined for moving in with Steve before they got married.

"Married?" Peggy was surprised that Colonel Phillips didn't start dressing her down right then.

"Friday after next." Peggy decided. "We were planning on using the weekend for our honeymoon rather than me needing to take time off."

"Any miniature super soldiers on their way?" Colonel Phillips' eyes flitted down to Peggy's abdomen.

"No." Both Peggy and Steve spoke as one.

"What happened? I don't want to ask a third time."

Steve set the shield and sketchbook down before moving to the kitchen table. "How much time do you have?" He asked. "There's a short version and a long version."

"Give me the short-short version."

"I didn't die when the plane crashed, I went into an extended, frozen sleep. I woke up in 2011 and in 2023 managed to travel back in time." Steve said.

There was a long silence as Colonel Phillips looked between the two of them.

"You might want to tell him the longer short version, my darling." Peggy set a cup of tea down in front of Colonel Phillips and then went back to the stove. She poured another cup for Steve and then went to grab hers. They sat at the kitchen table together and Steve explained everything from the Tesseract to the infinity stones to Thanos and time travel.

"You actually expect me to believe all of that?" Colonel Phillips asked an hour later.

"Peggy said my personal effects were boxed up. You boxed them up yourself." Steve said.

"Yes." Colonel Phillips responded.

"How else did I get my sketchbook?" Steve picked it up. "How else did it age so much? How did it get filled up if I didn't finish filling it up in the future? If I'm not out of the ice, how come I have my shield, how come I have my compass?" Steve slipped a piece of paper out of the front of the sketchbook. "Check these." He said. "HYDRA bases."

Colonel Phillips glanced down at the paper and froze. "We just got intelligence about this one." He pointed to the second location on the list.

"Check the others." Steve said, "I never had exact addresses, but I put as much detail as I could."

"I'll be looking over this very carefully," Colonel Phillips said, picking up the paper. "I need to get back to base. Will I have your help in getting HYDRA?"

Peggy looked over at Steve. His eyes were dark and troubled. Finally, he nodded. "Only if we get the Howling Commandos back together. I won't do this alone."

"Done," Colonel Phillips said with finality. "I just gave them 2 weeks' leave for the war ending. They'll be back in about a week and a half. I assume since you didn't come running back to base, you don't want to announce to the world that you're back?"

"I would appreciate that it be kept quiet." Steve requested with apprehension. "However, as my commanding officer, I understand if you want to announce."

"HYDRA is scared of you; they'll squirrel away in a hole if they know you're alive," Colonel Phillips observed. "Your being alive is on a strict 'need to know' basis. As far as I'm concerned, at the moment, no one else needs to know. We'll tell the commandos only when we absolutely have to," he relented.

Steve and Peggy sighed with relief as Colonel Phillips stood, folding the paper and slipping it into his pocket. His next words were clear and biting, but his tone said that Colonel Phillips' heart wasn't in this dressing down. "You two have put me in a hard spot. For the sake of getting HYDRA shut down, I won't report the two _blatant_ breaches of protocol that I've seen the two of you engage in. The both of you know damn well that military code of conduct _strictly_ forbids interpersonal romantic relationships. Just because the war is over, that doesn't mean military regs are suddenly nonexistent. Agent Carter, I expect complete professionalism at work, even after the wedding."

"That won't be a problem Colonel Phillips. And I thank you for not ruining my career." Peggy replied respectfully, but her heart was beating wildly. One hand came up to hold Steve's dressing gown closed again.

"_I_ won't," Colonel Phillips emphasized, "but I can't promise that word won't get out in other ways. Suppose someone sees the two of you off base and puts two and two together; I can't keep them from reporting you." He shrugged one shoulder—partially in disinterest, although his military bearing couldn't completely condone the after-hours galavanting. "All I can promise is that if there is a report that it won't come from me. Understand?"

"We understand," Steve affirmed, and reminded himself to breathe.

"Thank you, sir," Peggy said quietly.

Colonel Phillips gave Peggy a long look. "I'm still calling you Carter after the wedding." He finally said, before moving to the front door. He looked at Steve, "fewer people will recognize you with a beard, I suggest you grow one."

"Yes, sir." Steve nodded curtly.

"And for heaven's sake, a baby will blow your cover. Promise me you have more sense than that."

"Yes, sir." Steve blushed. Peggy felt like giving Steve a look, Phillips did not need to know about their family planning.

Phillips looked to Carter and spoke before letting himself out. "I expect you to be on time to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

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	5. Chapter 5

_**Here's ****chapter**** 5, hope ya'll enjoy it! see if you can spot the Friends reference!**_

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Steve sighed as he left the jewelers. He'd hoped to get a ring that day, but the one he'd been saving up for had been bought not an hour before Steve had gone in. At least he'd gotten Peggy's wedding band. He tried not to feel too disappointed, Peggy would be happy with anything. But he'd wanted to get her favorite stone.

"Mr. Carter!" Steve nearly didn't stop, he still wasn't used to being called Mr. Carter. But faintly it registered that it was Mrs. Francatelli who had spoken and he finally turned.

"Yes?" He could see that she was struggling with the load of boxes and after shoving the ring box in his pocket, he took the boxes from her. "Here, let me help, you're going back to the apartment?"

"Yes, I am, thank you," Mrs. Francatelli straightened her purse and the two of them set off in the direction of the apartment building. "What's troubling you?" Mrs. Francatelli asked. "You nearly didn't hear me, you were thinking so deeply."

"Now that Peggy and I are able to be publicly married, I was hoping to get her a fancier ring," Steve lied. "Peggy loves opals, but the ring I had my eye on was bought an hour ago. I was hoping to have a new ring, since we're going to go dancing tonight."

There was silence between the two of them for almost a full block. "I know just the thing," Mrs. Francatelli said quietly, "Come into my apartment when we get there."

The walk was short, and Steve set the boxes down and looked around Mrs. Francatelli's apartment. On the mantel, he could see three picture frames with dog tags hanging on them.

"My Patrick died in the first War." Steve jerked around at the sound of Mrs. Francatelli's voice. "His tags are the ones on the left." Mrs. Francitelli's eyes were wet. "My boys joined up almost before the fires were out at Pearl Harbor. Richard's tags are the middle ones, he was my oldest boy. He was sent to Japan, and Alexander, my youngest, was sent to Italy. My Alexander was in the 107th. He almost died in '43, but Captain America saved him and hundreds of other men. Alex made it to France for D-Day." A single tear fell. "I'm lucky to have gotten both my boys dog tags back. Not everyone gets even that."

There was a long pause, Mrs. Francatelli's eyes were still filled with tears, but her voice was clear. "But because of Captain America," she paused to give Steve a significant look."I got my youngest boy with me for one more Christmas. We'd only had the boys before my Patrick went to fight in '17. I don't have a daughter in law to pass this ring to." She held out a box for Steve and he gently took it. He opened it, three small opals shone, each attached to a thin gold band that connected together. Steve swallowed hard. It was nearly identical to the one he had picked out for Peggy.

"I want you to have it. I can tell you adore your wife, and she you, Mr. Carter. That's what I wanted for my boys, if they'd ever found a girl. You should have this."

"I can't…." Steve started, dumbstruck at the gift he was being given. He tried to hand it back to her, but she spoke again.

"Yes you can," Mrs. Francatelli closed the box and pressed it into Steve's hand.

Steve swallowed hard, "Thank you. I-I can't ever thank you enough."

"Keep loving Peggy." Mrs. Francatelli said, "That's how you can thank me."

"It won't be hard for me to keep loving her." Steve couldn't help but smile. "I've loved her for fourteen years." Steve turned as he heard Peggy's footsteps coming up the stairs. "Thank you," he said to Mrs. Francatelli, then he turned back to his and Peggy's apartment.

"Peggy, I have a surprise for you," He said, smiling as he came through the door. "Something you can wear when we go dancing tonight."

Peggy looked worn out, but smiled. "I'm looking forward to our dance."

"Long day at work?" He asked.

Peggy closed her eyes, moaned, muttered something about freaking Thompson and put her purse on the sofa before going into the bedroom. Steve went to the kitchen to start a cup of tea for her. He could hear Peggy rummaging around in the bedroom and he smiled to himself.

"Darling?" Peggy came out to the front room holding her jewelry box. She sat on the sofa and started digging through it in the light of the front room. "Have you seen my hoop earring, the one I've been wearing as my wedding ring?" Peggy asked. "I don't wear it into work, but now I can't find it in my jewelry box. I usually keep it right here. I wanted to wear it tonight when we went dancing." She riffled through the other two pairs of earrings in her jewelry box, as if she wouldn't be able to see the hoop earring behind the simple pearl studs.

"I borrowed it," Steve said, he dug around in his pocket and came up with the ring boxes and then the earring. "Since it fits your finger, I wanted to make sure I got the right size ring." He handed the earring back to her and Peggy set it in her jewelry box as Steve sat on the sofa. He set the box from the jeweler on the sofa, but kept holding onto the box from Mrs. Francatelli. Peggy saw the boxes and swallowed hard, tears filling her eyes. She mouthed something as she looked up at Steve, eyes shining.

"When I imagined proposing, I always thought it would be a lot more romantic," Steve ran a hand through his hair. "But I don't think it matters how I say it, or what I say, just who I say it to. Peggy, you make me happier than I thought I could ever be. If you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way." He opened the box as a single tear fell from Peggy's eyes. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course, Steve." Peggy said, she started to say something else but stopped, the lump in her throat too big. Instead she nodded and Steve pulled her in for a quick kiss. Once they pulled back, Steve took the ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger. Magically, it fit her perfectly.

"I love it." Peggy forced herself to speak past the lump in her throat. "It's stunning!"

"Mrs. Francatelli actually gave it to me," Steve admitted, "I went to the jewelers for another ring." He quickly told her about how the ring he'd originally wanted had been bought earlier that day.

"I'll have to thank her myself, this is perfect," Peggy said. They kissed again, this time it deepened but Steve pulled back before he could get too carried away.

"The Stork Club?" He asked, stroking Peggy's hair. "Or stay home? Your choice."

Peggy smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "You go get ready first, I'll go thank Mrs. Francatelli," she said, before hurrying out the door.

Steve was in the process of grooming his beard when Peggy came back in. She slipped out of her work dress and began putting her good nylons on.

"If we hadn't waited so long for this dance, I'd suggest we stay home tonight." Her implication on what they'd be doing instead of dancing was clear.

"We could come home early?" Steve suggested hopefully.

"Well that depends on how quickly you learn how to dance," Peggy teased.

"I'll try to learn," Steve promised.

Peggy laughed and turned to her vanity to get her makeup on. She quickly finished getting ready and as she grabbed her purse, she paused in front of the night stand on her side of the bed, she grabbed her pistol from her drawer and slipped it into her purse. With men coming home from the war, you never know who might try and get fresh, even with her fiance right there. She finally left the bedroom, "I'm ready whenever you are darling," she said.

Steve smiled as he saw her, she was wearing the red dress she'd worn the week before and had put on her signature lipstick. "You look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you," Peggy blushed.

Steve offered her his arm and they left their flat.

* * *

The night passed quickly and soon it was time for the last dance. Steve pulled Peggy close as the band started to play.

_"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice…."_

Peggy shifted to look up at Steve. This past week had been amazing, part of her still wondered if this was a fantastic dream. She smiled as she turned back to dancing. While Steve had picked up the waltz, he still tended to tread on her toes.

_"You'll never know how many dreams, I've dreamed about you, or just how empty they seemed without you."_

Peggy winced as Steve shuffled and accidentally stepped on her left foot. "Sorry."

Peggy smiled, "It's fine. Helps me realize this isn't a dream."

_"….Then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time."_ The music slowed at the end of the song and Steve took a step back. He motioned with his head to follow him to the table they'd been sitting at. "Why don't we go home?" he suggested.

Peggy nodded and grabbed her purse. They were at the door when Steve spoke again. "Thank you so much for delivering my letter last week." Peggy turned to see Steve was talking to the doorman who had spoken to Peggy the week before.

"I see you've wasted no time," the doorman commented when he saw the ring on Peggy's finger.

"We've been apart long enough. I've loved her since the day I met her," Steve said, before kissing her fingers.

Peggy smiled at Steve's declaration. "Did you really fall in love with me the day we met?" she asked as they began their walk home.

"When you first walked up to us at Camp Lehigh, my first thought was that you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. That there was no way I'd ever have a chance with you." Peggy smiled as they turned the corner and Steve pulled Peggy closer to him. "When you took Hodges down with one punch, I was gone. I knew I'd do anything for you."

Peggy chuckled "I hate overconfident men." They walked in silence for a few moments. Peggy felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "It was the dummy grenade for me," she spoke, but was concentrating on the person following about half a block back behind them. "When I saw you had run towards it, I started forward, hoping to get to it and throw it towards the pond before it exploded. When I heard it was a dummy grenade, I nearly cried with relief," Peggy said."Even before I fell in love, I wanted you to be the one chosen to have the serum. I didn't realize I cared until I caught you and Private Lorraine kissing."

"Looking back, you were pretty jealous right after," Steve said carefully, he looked behind them and then turned back to the street in front of them.

Peggy laughed, and tightened her arm around Steve's, hoping Steve would get the hint that he should follow her lead. "Jealous is a bit of an understatement. I wanted to rip Lorraine's tongue out." She stopped as Steve jerked her around a corner and into a diner. "Steve…." she objected. Steve leaned down to Peggy's ear.

"I think someone is following us." He whispered.

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_**Please review!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Here's chapter 6. I want to send a big thanks to those who have taken the time to review. I love getting the reviews and hope you all continue to enjoy this story!**_

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Peggy and Steve moved to a booth and sat across from each other. Peggy sat facing the door, with her purse in easy reach. "Steve, I knew there was someone behind us."

Steve smiled sheepishly. "You had everything under control?"

"I would have done if you hadn't practically told whoever it was that we knew he was on our tail." Peggy responded. "You've changed since the plane went down Steve, but one thing that hasn't changed is that you can't be subtle to save your life." Peggy shook her head, smiling ruefully.

A waitress approached them and asked if they were ready to order. Steve fumbled with a menu to hide his face. Per Captain Phillips' orders, he'd started growing a beard, was still pretty recognizable. A quick glance at the menu and Peggy spoke to the waitress, Angie.

"I'll have a cup of coffee and a piece of cherry pie."

"Same here." Steve spoke up from behind his menu.

"I'll be right back." Angie promised, turning.

The door to the diner opened and Peggy did a double take as Pinky Pinkerton walked through. At least it was only one of the Howling Commandos. "Pinky?!"

"Peggy!" Peggy and Steve locked eyes for a moment, Steve nodded quickly and Peggy stood and pulled Pinky into a hug.

"I thought that was you I saw coming out of the Stork Club, but who were you..." Pinky started, Peggy forced him to sit in the booth next to her. Steve used one of the menus to shield his face from the rest of the diner and put a finger to his lips to caution Pinky not to say anything.

It took a moment for Pinky to realize who he was sitting across from. For a long moment Pinky stared at Steve before turning to Peggy, his mouth open. Peggy smiled and nodded, Pinky looked back at Steve who was also smiling. He finally spoke in a whisper. "How? Cap, the plane…."

"It's complicated." Peggy and Steve spoke as one. Steve gestured to the diner around them and shook his head. Pinky nodded as Angie came back over.

"And what can I get for you?" she asked, setting three mugs onto the table.

Pinky stammered for a moment before Peggy spoke again. "He'll have a piece of cherry pie too, thanks for the extra coffee."

"I'll be back in a few minutes with the pies." Angie promised.

Silence reigned between the three of them for a long moment.

"Who else knows?" Pinky finally asked.

"Colonel Phillips and that's it, present company excluded." Steve said. "We're keeping it quiet, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything."

"When?" Pinky took a sip of coffee.

"I got back about a month ago."

"My God, man. You look like you've been through hell." Pinky looked Steve up and down.

"You don't know the half of it." Steve chuckled. "What are you doing in New York?"

"We got a couple of weeks leave to celebrate the war ending." Pinky said, "Then we're to meet up at the SSR office here to go out and hunt Hydra again."

"Next week?" Steve asked, Pinky nodded, "Phillips mentioned it. I'll be joining you."

Angie came with three slices of pie and Peggy smiled her thanks as the three of them dug in.

"Are you going to announce to the world you're back?"

"Not now. Phillips thinks Hydra might try harder to hide if they know I'm still alive," Steve said, "but I do think there will come a time when we won't be able to keep it quiet any longer."

Pinky nodded. "I can see the appeal of letting everyone think you're still dead." He turned to Peggy, looked pointedly at her ring and then between Steve and Peggy, smiling. "I'm not surprised that you two are tying the knot. Even a blind man could see the torch you two carry for each other."

Peggy couldn't help but smile. "We're getting married Friday,." she said. "Would you like to come?"

"Of course!" Pinky agreed. "I wish the other Commandos were here to join us."

"We'll have a reception when you all get back from your field work," Peggy promised. "We just want to get married before you all leave again."

The conversation between the three of them flowed easily and they spent over an hour talking and laughing. All too soon, Angie approached them. "I'm sorry," she said, "I've got to close up."

Peggy reached into her purse and pulled out a bill. "Keep the change," she said, pushing it into Angie's hand. "We came in late and kept you from closing."

Angie's eyes widened when she saw the bill. "Feel free to come in again!" she grinned.

Peggy smiled. "This was good pie, I intend to."

Peggy slipped her arm through Steve's as the trio headed out the door. "Do you have a place for the night?" She asked Pinky. "We have a couch, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but…."

"I'd love to," Pinky said. "I just have to get my bag, I left it at my motel."

The walk to Pinky's motel was short and soon they were walking to Steve and Peggy's apartment. "Oh," Peggy remembered "Our landlady is under the impression that we're already married," she said, and Pinky started laughing, "And she's also under the impression that we're the Carter's rather then the Rogers'."

"It sounds like there's a story behind that," Pinky said. Steve and Peggy laughed and quickly filled Pinky in on their living situation.

"But how are you getting married if you're not using your own name?" Pinky asked.

Peggy was the one who responded. "I'm actually going to see Howard tomorrow. I'm sure he'll help us get the paperwork we need to file quietly," Peggy said. "I'm not sure if I can convince Howard to help us without telling him that you're still alive though."

"He'll keep it a secret." Steve was sure.

"My concern isn't necessarily Howard, it's his … female friends." Peggy said, "What if he accidentally slips up in front of them?"

They walked up the stairs to their apartment and Peggy smiled as she saw their landlady's head sticking out of her door. "Mrs. Francitelli, mine and Grant's good friend Pinky is visiting. We should have asked first, is it alright if he spends a couple of nights on our couch?"

Mrs. Francatelli looked Pinky up and down. "As long as he's quiet and doesn't bring ladies of ill repute around, he can stay as long as he likes."

"Thank you, it'll only be a short visit," Pinky promised.

* * *

The next morning, Peggy woke early; after getting a quick cup of tea and a piece of toast, she left for Howard's place. The bus downtown took longer than she thought it would and when she got there mid-morning, a man named Jarvis answered the door and brought her into the drawing room to wait for Howard.

Howard came down the stairs, beaming. "Peggy!" he greeted her with a hug. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

"It's good to see you Howard," Peggy happily returned the hug. "I have a bit of a favor to ask," she began.

"I'm happy to do whatever you need Peg." Howard said. Peggy hesitated. "Let's go into my office." Howard suggested.

Peggy followed him down the hall to an ostentatious office. Only once the door was closed did Peggy start talking. "I need a favor, but I can't go into a lot of detail about it. "

"What's the favor, Peg?" Howard asked.

Peggy sucked in a breath and started lying. "A friend of mine and her fellow have been together for years but, her father doesn't like him. They want to get married, but they can't have it be public and her father works at City Hall, so he'd see the paperwork..."

"I've got a friend who works at City Hall." Howard poured them each a drink. "He'll keep the paperwork on the down-low until they're able to be publicly married. I'll get you his information."

"Thank you, Howard." Peggy breathed a sigh of relief, tears suddenly filling her eyes. She blinked hard to clear her vision. "I can't tell you how much of a relief it is that I'm able to help my friend."

Howard gave her a long look as they drank from their glasses. "I'm surprised you haven't asked me how the search for Steve is going."

Peggy stopped, a ball of dread forming in her stomach. "I assumed if you had any news you would have shared it with me." She looked out the window and she swallowed hard. Did Howard suspect anything? God, she hated lying to him. Maybe she should tell him the truth about Steve being back. But the fewer people who knew the better. It gave Howard plausible deniability in case Hydra found out that Steve was alive and started interrogating their friends.

"I would have," Howard admitted, he finished his drink and poured himself another. "I love him too Peggy. I'm searching for him, I'll find him for you."

Peggy felt her stomach rolling and she swallowed the bile that suddenly tried to rise up. "I need to go." Her half full glass landed on the desk with a thunk and some amber liquid splashed out. She turned away from Howard completely, making her way to the door.

Howard looked up in alarm. "Peggy no, don't go Peg, I'm sorry. I didn't know bringing up Steve would make you want to leave. I'm sorry Peg, I'm sorry. I'll change the subject." Peggy tried to smile as she stepped back to the desk, she wasn't sure what to say, so she grabbed her drink and downed the rest of it in one long swig. "I miss him too, Peg." Howard said.

There was a long silence between them. "You mentioned wanting to go back to school after the war..." Howard started.

"I was at Cambridge, but didn't get my degree before the war, I had a year left in '39. I'm hoping my service means something and I'll be able to re-enroll where I was and not have to go through the entire program again," Peggy said.

"I'll see if there are any strings I can pull to make that happen," Howard promised. Peggy smiled, but shook her head.

"I'd rather have to go through the entire program again on my own merit then graduate early because someone thinks I'm sleeping with Howard Stark," she said, "But thank you for the offer."

"What were you getting your degree in?" Howard asked.

"Biology, although I'd also taken classes in anatomy and physiology as well," Peggy said. "That's why Dr. Erskine asked for me to be assigned to the SSR. Even though I didn't have my degree, my educational background helped me understand what Dr. Erskine was talking about with Project Rebirth and what the serum might do."

They continued to talk for another hour, but soon, Peggy made an excuse to leave. She hated lying to Howard but could they trust that he would keep quiet?

After Jarvis got the contact information for the man Peggy would need to speak to at City Hall, Howard promised that Jarvis would help Peggy in any way she needed it. "Just give my number a call," he said.

Peggy nodded, made a mental note to never need Edwin Jarvis' help, and left.

* * *

_Please Review!_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Here's chapter 7! I want to send a big thanks to those who have taken the time to review. I love getting the reviews and hope you all continue to enjoy this story!**_

_**And to the guest reviewer for chapter 6...funny you should say that about Jarvis... I actually had the ending of this chapter written before you reviewed chapter 6.**_

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_Peggy looked around. She was back in the communication center for the SSR. How had she gotten there? She and Steve had a small flat in Brooklyn. The radio crackled and Steve's voice came through._

_"I've gotta put her in the water."_

_"Please, don't do this, we have time, we can work it out," Peggy begged, they had to figure out something to bring Steve back alive. She couldn't lose him again._

_"Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait much longer, a lot of people are going to die. Peggy, this is my choice." There was a long pause. "Peggy,"_

_"I'm here."_

_"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance."_

_"No!" Peggy said, she knew this was a dream but it was so real. "No, Steve..."_

_"Peggy," Steve suddenly sounded concerned over the radio. "You have to wake up. Peggy, wake up. This is a nightmare, wake up."_

Peggy woke, gasping as she sat upright in bed. She tried to catch her breath but for a moment she could only wheeze heavily. Finally, her airways opened and she took in a gasping breath.

"Peggy, what's wrong?" Steve was sitting up in bed as well, the covers twisted around their legs and her pillow on the ground. She could feel her hairpins digging into her scalp.

"Peggy, darling." Steve sounded like he didn't know what to do.

Peggy turned into Steve's arms and burst into tears. "It's okay," Steve spoke soothingly and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay, get it out." His voice was low and comforting.

When she could speak, Peggy told him what her nightmare had been about.

"I was...gone longer then I've been back. I'm honestly surprised that you haven't had any nightmares before now." Steve's hand made comforting circles on her lower back. "I wonder if you're still grieving me being gone."

"But you're back," Peggy said, "you're not gone. I see you every day, which is more then I saw you in the last 6 months before you died."

"True, but we also weren't together," Steve said. "We had feelings for each other, but we were still dancing around each other. Now, we're getting married in less than 24 hours, we're together in every sense of the word and…." he trailed off with a shrug.

"I guess that makes sense," Peggy said, tightening her arms around Steve.

"Here," Steve said, shifting so he was lying down. "Come here." He pulled her back into his arms. Peggy lay her head on his chest and played with the top button on his pajamas.

They lay there quietly for about an hour. Each time Peggy nearly fell asleep she jerked back awake. Each time, Steve pressed a kiss to her forehead and ran a hand up and down her back. Finally, he spoke. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

Peggy yawned. "That might help."

They quietly went to the kitchen were Steve waved her into her normal seat at the table. "Do you want toast as well?" Steve asked, keeping his voice quiet to try not to wake Pinky in the living room.

"Yes," Peggy said. "Just butter please, my stomach is absolutely rolling."

"English Tea and plain toast for the most beautiful woman in the world, coming right up," Steve said. He got the kettle started and then got their cups ready. By the time Peggy was gingerly munching on a piece of plain toast, the tea kettle started whistling.

Peggy heard a thump outside their front door. For a moment she wondered if anyone had figured out that Steve was back and had come to their apartment.

Steve noticed Peggy freezing. After consulting with the clock on their mantel, he went to the front door. He carefully opened it before stepping out for a moment and then stepping back in. He held up the wire basket with the milk jugs. "Just the milkman." Peggy couldn't help but smile at his boyish smile.

Steve put the new milk jugs into the refrigerator and then sat back down with Peggy. "I have no idea how long I'll be gone, so I paid up the next two months of rent with Mrs. Francatelli. You won't have to worry about that for a while."

Peggy nodded. "All right." Normally she would have made a quip about knowing how to pay rent, but she was feeling nauseous about her nightmare and about Steve leaving.

"I'll come back to you as quickly as I can, Peggy." Steve reached for her hand.

"You need to get Hydra, and Bucky. I'm safe here." She took a sip of tea. "A very intelligent monkey could do my job," she admitted, "but I'll be working with Colonel Phillips, so at least I'll find out everything within hours of him knowing your whereabouts. For that, I'll take being a glorified secretary."

"I wish you could come with us," Steve said, "I have a feeling we'll need a code breaker and another good shot."

"You and me both." Peggy finished her toast. Pinky snorted from the living room and she picked up her tea as they both padded back to the bedroom. Steve lit a candle and Peggy set her tea on her nightstand. She slipped under the covers and turned to grab her tea. Steve slipped in next to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She leaned up against him as she tried to calm down. Why was she so on edge?

"Are you feeling better?" Steve asked, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Not entirely," Peggy admitted, "But I don't think I'll feel completely better until you're back." She set her teacup aside and turned into Steve's arms. Steve held her close and she finally drifted off to sleep.

The day dawned bright and she got ready for work and went in early, getting there even before Colonel Phillips. She was just finishing up with a report when he came up to her desk.

Phillips gave her a careful look. "Everything alright Carter? You look like hell."

"Shell shock." Peggy purposely neglected to tell him who had shell shock, "Rough night."

Colonel Phillips nodded, looking unsurprised at the admission. "Today's the day?"

"We have an appointment at 8pm at City Hall." Peggy smiled at that. "We were wondering if you might want to be there."

"I'll be there," Phillips promised.

Peggy turned back to her work and the day flew by. As soon as she got home from work, she set about getting ready for her wedding. She hadn't had time to get a wedding dress, so she'd combed through her suits and dresses a few nights before. Steve's favorite dress was the red one she'd worn when they'd gone dancing, but that was too shocking for a wedding dress. She finally picked a crème colored suit with a conservative neckline.

She carefully reapplied her wasn't sure if Pinky had been able to borrow a camera, but she wanted to look her best on their wedding day. She was putting her earrings in when Pinky knocked on the door. "I have a present for the bride to be!"

"Come on in Pinky, I'm decent," Peggy called out, "Just don't let Steve see me."

Pinky came in, a thin box in one hand. He held it out for her. "I wasn't sure if you'd want this before or after the wedding."

Peggy took it and carefully opened the box and swallowed hard. Nestled in the box were several new handkerchiefs. Each one was a pastel blue, with an embroidered spray of pink posies and a set of initials in ivory. MCR.

_Margaret Carter Rogers._

"I know you said you were keeping Carter as your last name," Pinky said quietly, "but I thought you'd like to have something with Cap's last name. Even if it's just an initial."

Peggy had to pick up one of the handkerchiefs to wipe her eyes. "Pinky, I love them," she said, choked up. She threw her arms around Pinky who hugged her back.

"Don't get too teary-eyed just yet, I have another surprise, for you and Steve," Pinky said, an impish gleam in his eye. "Finish getting ready and then we'll send Cap back here, the surprise should be ready then."

Peggy nodded and Pinky left as she began to fuss with her hair again. For some reason, it wasn't sitting right and it greatly annoyed her that her hair might not look perfect on her wedding day. Finally, she gave up. It looked good enough and heavens knew Steve wasn't going to be picky. After a couple of dabs of her perfume, she left her vanity and went to the bedroom door, opening it a crack.

"The groom isn't supposed to see the bride before the wedding, Pinky, make sure Steve's eyes are closed," Pinky laughed and she heard him speak:

"Keep your eyes closed Cap, otherwise you'll have bad luck with your bride."

Steve's laugh made Peggy smile and she opened the bedroom door as Steve carefully walked down the hall, his eyes tightly closed. Peggy stopped him and then went up on her toes to kiss him.

"You look beautiful," Steve smiled, his eyes still tightly closed.

"You can't even see me," Peggy laughed.

"You always look beautiful." Steve leaned down and Peggy gave him another quick kiss.

"Flattery will get you nowhere you haven't already been Captain Rogers," Peggy laughed, "Go get ready, I'm ready to marry you."

"Yes, ma'am," Steve said, hurrying into the bedroom as fast as he could with his eyes closed.

Peggy went out to the living room as there was a knock on the door. "That's the other surprise!" Pinky said excitedly. "I'm glad he showed up now, instead of when you were getting ready." Pinky set the camera down as Peggy opened the door.

Her mouth dropped open. "Morita?!"

"I haven't told him anything," Pinky spoke up from behind Peggy. "I ran into him the other day and told him when to get here."

"Oh, Pinky." Peggy moved so Morita could come into the apartment.

"I hope we have enough time to explain everything before..." Pinky started.

Peggy pulled Morita into a hug. "Morita, the most wonderful thing has happened."

"Pinky said we would be going to City Hall, what for?" Morita asked.

Peggy's throat constricted with joy as she spoke. "It's complicated and we don't have time to explain in great detail." She held up her hand to show off the ring. "You know there's only one man I'd say yes to."

Morita's mouth dropped open. "But how?" He asked. "I was there, in the radio room. I-I heard you two talking and then..." He broke off.

"As I said, it's complicated," Peggy said. "We'll explain it in greater detail another day. But it's really Steve. He's alive, he's back, and we're getting married in an hour."

They were interrupted by another knock at the door. Peggy opened the door to see Colonel Phillips.

"Why don't the two of us go first and the three of you can meet us at City Hall?" Peggy suggested. "That way Steve doesn't see me before the wedding."

Pinky nodded, "You said the appointment is at 8?"

"Yes." Peggy checked the time. It was 7:05 and she turned to Morita. "Make sure the camera comes, I'll be very cross if I don't get any pictures of my wedding day."

Morita nodded and chuckled, "I'll make sure the camera gets there Peggy."

Peggy quickly put her coat on and grabbed her pocketbook. She left with Colonel Phillips and they started walking towards City Hall. Thankfully, they lived less than a mile away and they were able to walk. Peggy's hair dropped and she fussed, trying to fix it as they walked. They were about halfway to City Hall when Peggy stopped in at the diner she and Steve had gone to the week before after dancing. She and Steve had gone in a couple of times since then and they were friendly with Angie, the waitress. "Angie, I need to borrow a mirror," she said.

Angie pulled out a compact from a pocket and passed it to Peggy as she got a tray of food ready for a customer. "Sure English, what's the occasion?"

"Grant and I are getting married," Peggy said she fussed with her hair and tried to fix it.

Angie delivered the food and came over to the stool Peggy was sitting on. "Here." She took the pins from Peggy's hair and started fussing with it herself. "I can see your hair better."

"I'm supposed to meet Grant at City Hall in half an hour and…."

"I'll get it," Angie promised. "Do you have everything else you need? Your new, old, borrowed, blue?"

"Partly." Peggy tried to smile. "Quick engagement, so I didn't really have time to gather everything. My earrings used to be my grandmother's, I have new handkerchiefs from a friend, and I have a blue ribbon my brother bought me years ago in my pocket."

"Nothing to borrow?" Angie asked, biting her lip in concentration as she fiddled with Peggy's hair.

"I just moved to New York, and I don't have very many girlfriends yet," Peggy admitted. "I'm a bit married to my job at the moment, honestly."

"We're friends." Angie decided. She pulled something out of her hair and then stuck it into Peggy's. Peggy felt the weight of a hair comb right behind her left ear. "Bring it back when you can, but no rush."

"Angie, are you sure?" Peggy turned to face Angie. "You hardly know me."

"You're a lot more fun than my normal regulars." Angie waved a hand dismissively. "Even if I don't get this back it's gone to a good cause."

"I'll bring it back," Peggy promised, just as a customer came in and Angie made an apologetic face and turned to them.

Peggy and Phillips left the diner and continued to City Hall. Peggy took in a deep breath as they walked up the steps to the large building. As they were entering the large building, Peggy turned as she heard someone say her name.

"Miss Carter."

"Mr. Jarvis!" Peggy's hand came up to clutch her pearl necklace. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Mr. Stark needed me to run an errand for him," Mr. Jarvis said quietly. "He does sometimes have me running errands at odd times."

"Yes, Howard can be a bit of an odd duck," Peggy agreed, swallowing nervously.

"Peggy!" Peggy turned again as she heard Pinky's voice. She swallowed hard. Per Colonel Phillip's suggestion, Steve had started growing a beard but he was still pretty recognizable. To her at least. Would Mr. Jarvis know who Steve was though?

"I'll let you..." Mr. Jarvis paused as he saw Steve. He then glanced at Peggy who tried to fake a smile. "I'll let you go, Miss Carter, you're obviously busy."

A door opened and a man stepped out. "Carter Wedding will be this way."

If a hole had suddenly appeared, Peggy would have gladly jumped into it to get away. Would Mr. Jarvis say something to Howard? Peggy hated lying to Howard, but the fewer people who knew Steve was still alive the better.

"I'll meet you there in just a moment, go." Peggy's tone was so severe that even Colonel Phillips followed orders. As the men got to the door, Steve paused, letting Pinky, Phillips, and Morita go in before him. Peggy turned back to Mr. Jarvis.

"Mr. Jarvis." Peggy started. "I can't exactly go into a lot of detail, but I would very much appreciate it if you would be willing to not tell Mr. Stark about who exactly you've seen here tonight. And who exactly is getting married." She faltered, swallowing hard. "The fewer people who know, the better, just in case … something happens. And in case...friends are questioned..." She sighed and looked Mr. Jarvis in the eye.

"Tell Mr. Stark what Miss Carter?" Mr. Jarvis interrupted blithely. He smiled kindly. "I haven't even seen you tonight." Jarvis and Steve locked eyes for a moment. Steve was looking at Jarvis as if he was seeing an old friend after a long separation. Jarvis nodded to Steve and walked down the hall, towards the exit.

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_Please Review!_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Here's chapter 8! I want to send a big thanks to those who have taken the time to review. I love getting the reviews and hope you all continue to enjoy this story!**_

_**I'm actually going to be posting a little slower from now on. My beta is going through some stuff and I have reached the end of the chapters that have been already edited. I'll post just as soon as I have a chapter available, but it might be a while. Hopefully I'll have another chapter by Christmas.**_

* * *

The Howling Commandos originally had only 7 members, but during the two years they'd chased Hydra, the team had grown to 10- 11 if you counted Peggy, which they all did. Steve and Peggy clasped hands as they walked up to Colonel Phillips' house. Pinky and Morita walked ahead of them, snickering at the idea of surprising the rest of the other Commandos with the news that Steve was still alive. Pinky and Morita entered first, and Peggy stepped in behind them. Steve paused outside the door to give Peggy and Colonel Phillips the chance to say something.

"Dum Dum, put your shoes back on, your feet smell worse than my cooking," Phillips was saying.

"I thought you said to take the shoes off." Dum Dum pulled on one boot. "Because my boots are so muddy."

"That's before we smelled the abomination that is your feet," Phillips said. "I'd rather sweep the dirt up."

"Dum Dum, the purpose of having some leave time was so you could take a proper shower and do laundry." Peggy gagged, "It doesn't look, or smell, like you did either. Put your shoes back on."

"Aww, Peg.." Dum Dum said, bending to put the second boot back on. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Steve spoke as he entered the house. "I could smell you all the way outside, Dum Dum. Do as Peggy says."

Peggy, Pinky, Morita and Phillips snickered together as the rest of the Commando's paused at the sight of Steve in the doorway. There was a loud clunk as Dum Dum's boot fell to the floor. He made no move to pick it up as the Howling Commandos stared at Steve for several long moments.

"Why don't you come fully into the light, my darling." Peggy finally spoke, "I don't think they realize you're quite real."

Dum Dum turned to Jones, "You see him too, right?"

"If by him, you mean Cap..." Jones continued to state at Steve.

"Mon Dieu, il est revenu d'entre les morts!" Peggy heard Dernier mutter beside her.

"Yeah."

"It's complicated," Steve started, "But I'm back."

"Holy shit." Sawyer spoke from his corner.

With a roar of happiness, Dum Dum and Jones launched themselves forward and started pounding Steve on the back, the rest of the Commandos rushed forward to give Steve a hug. It was Jones who finally started yelling to get everyone's attention.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" The Howling Commandos all turned to look at Jones who was standing on Steve's left side. "Am I the only one who heard our Peggy call Cap, her '_darling_' ?" He emphasized the pet name.

Peggy couldn't help but laugh, "We got married on Friday." While the Howlies had been crowding Steve, she'd stepped to the side to stand by Colonel Phillips. Steve reached out for her and she slid into his arms and wrapped her own around him.

"Did you know, Colonel?" Dum Dum turned to Phillips.

Colonel Phillips stared at Dum Dum in disbelief for a moment before Peggy spoke, "Yes, Dum Dum, we told him. He was at the wedding."

"I'm sure you all want to catch up with Captain Rogers, but you need to do it another time," Colonel Phillips said, "we need to plan this mission," he motioned for everyone to sit and everyone found a spot in Colonel Phillips' living room. Peggy found a spot on the couch next to Steve. Most of the other Howlies found a spot on the floor. Colonel Phillips stood by the fireplace.

"Now," Colonel Phillips started, "not a lot of people can know that Captain Rogers is back. We're keeping this on a strict need to know basis, and I have doubts about Generals Clark and MacArthur being able to keep their mouths shut. Don't say anything to anyone about Captain Rogers. Now, we have the clearance to find 6 bases, but we have the locations of 15 of them. I want you to find them all."

"For the most part, we'll be out of the military on this one. We have very little back up, no extra munitions except what we can get ourselves…."

* * *

It was close to midnight when they were done. The entire group stayed over at Colonel Phillips' home for the night. Steve and Peggy were in Colonel Phillips' guest bedroom and they quickly settled in. Peggy slipped into Steve's arms and lay her head on his chest. "I miss you already."

"I'll be back before you know it," he promised.

They were silent for a long while, the walls were thin and they could hear some of the Howlies snoring in the next room. "You're worried," Peggy whispered, "I can tell."

"I am," Steve said. "With Bucky and Hydra, I know what we'll find in 2012, but not what we'll find in 1945. I am a bit nervous."

"Well, at least Bucky won't have as much time with Hydra now, hopefully that means he'll come out of the hypnosis easier."

"I hope so," Steve agreed. They fell into an uneasy silence. They both knew the other was awake, but didn't want to say anything. The walls were thin and anything they said might be overheard by Colonel Phillips or one of the Howling Commandos. Not that they would be saying much that was too private, just more "I'll miss you," or " I'll come home to you again as quickly as I can ." They'd spent most of their honeymoon having that particular discussion, how many times did it need to be repeated?

Finally, Steve's breathing evened out and he stopped playing with Peggy's hair. Still unable to sleep, she finally slid out of bed and padded to the kitchen. The full moon spilled light into the kitchen and Peggy quietly started a kettle on the stove. The floorboards creaked behind her and she recognized Phillips' steps.

"I'm not surprised you're having trouble sleeping," Phillips spoke softly.

"Do you want a cup?" Peggy asked.

"Yes."

As Peggy busied herself around the kitchen, she tried not to feel self conscious at the long look Phillips was giving her. He finally spoke when she handed him his cup of tea.

"I knew you'd have more trouble letting him go than before," Phillips said. Peggy could feel a lecture coming on and she cleared her throat in annoyance. "You two are meant to be together though," the moonlight illuminated the affectionate smile Phillips sent her. "It's a hard spot the two of you are in. I wish I could give you more of a honeymoon."

"Oh, I never thanked you for the hotel room..." Peggy started, but Phillips cut her off with a wave of the hand.

"Don't mention it." They were silent for a long moment, each sipping their tea.

"There's been talk about me transferring to DC," Colonel Phillips said quietly.

"How certain is the transfer?" Peggy asked.

"You'll be transferred to the SSR unit here in New York by Easter." It came out with a note of finality.

"I'd rather be transferred with you." Peggy knew she sounded a little childish. Based on the stories she'd heard about the chief of the New York office, she'd prefer working with Phillips.

"They denied my request for you to transfer with me." Was that disappointment she heard in Colonel Phillips' tone?

"Thank you for trying," Peggy said. "I'll make the best of it."

"Occasionally, we'll need to go help them..." Phillips gestured to the sleeping Commandos in the next room. "Probably best if we don't have the DC office down their best agent and a Colonel, anyway."

Peggy nodded in agreement, conceding his point. He was right. "How long do you expect this to take?" She took another sip of tea.

"I'll bring them back a few times this year to give them a breather in between bases." Phillips said. "But we won't be stopping until all of Hydra is six feet under. I hope that most of the work will be done before Christmas after this one. Based on what we find, it could take a lot longer." It suddenly hit Peggy how old Colonel Phillips looked.

Peggy took in a deep breath. There was a movement in the living room and Peggy downed the rest of her tea. "I should get some sleep. I'm no good to the Commandos or Steve without it."

"I'll get your cup in the morning, good night Agent." His tone was kind, but Peggy understood an order when she heard one. She smiled her thanks and went back to the guest bedroom.

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_According to Google translate; Dernier's French means "My God, he's back from the dead!" If Google was wrong, I'll be happy to edit._

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	9. Chapter 9

_**Here's chapter 9! Merry Christmas everyone!  
**_

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Mid December; 1945.

Peggy looked around her desk. It had been eight weeks since Steve and the Howling Commandos had left on their mission. She'd heard bits and pieces of news, and things seemed to be going well. No sign of Bucky, but they'd taken down a Hydra base. In an attempt to distract herself from her husband's absence, she used the time to catch up on typing and filing the numerous reports and papers that were cluttering her desk.

"Carter. Office," Phillips ordered in his no nonsense tone as he walked through the squad room. Peggy quickly followed, ignoring the curious looks from the other male agents. She heard a muttered comment about Phillips playing favorites with Captain America's girl. The stern look on the Colonel's face indicated he heard the comment, but they both ignored it.

"Close the door," Phillips said. Once the door was closed, Phillips spoke again. "I received a Top Secret communication from Sergeant Dugan. The team succeeded in taking down a second Hydra base. Everyone is accounted for." He paused to give her a significant look.

Peggy nodded, though she suppressed her relief at the news. "Thank you for the update, Colonel."

"However, they won't be home in time for Christmas," Colonel Phillips continued.

"I wasn't expecting it," Peggy replied, trying not to sound disappointed. For a moment, she thought of the wrapped presents sitting on the mantel for Steve. Christmas was in less than two weeks.

There was a knock on the window. A moment later an Agent opened the door and stepped inside. "Colonel." Peggy didn't recognize him, but her first impression wasn't high. He had an oily characteristic about him.

Irritated by the intrusion without permission, Colonel Phillips gave an aggravated sigh. "What seems to be the matter, Porter?"

"We received a lead on another Hydra base." Porter gave the location of a Hydra base Peggy knew had been listed on Steve's manifest. He handed over the folder stamped "CONFIDENTIAL"

Phillips glanced down at the information, then cleared his throat before responding curtly, "I'll send the information to the Howling Commandos; they'll check it out."

Peggy looked away from Colonel Phillips. In an effort not to laugh at the fact that they'd had this information for 2 months, she cleared her throat demurely. It was then that Porter finally noticed her. She could feel his eyes sweeping the length of her body. "Well," he remarked. Inwardly, Peggy cringed at the overly eager tone. "I didn't realize Colonel Phillips had such good taste in Secretaries. What's your name, doll?"

"My name is Agent," Peggy responded evenly. She picked up a stack of files from a chair and sat in it before opening the top one ever so slightly.

"You can leave now, Porter, and next time, wait until I give permission for you to come into my office," Phillips said shortly.

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir," Porter apologized. He turned to Peggy, his tone suddenly too polite. "Would you like for me to take those files to your desk?"

Any response Peggy formulated was cut off by Phillips' loud harrumph. "Porter; you don't have the clearance to think about half those files; much less touch them. Get out of my office."

Peggy could feel Porter's look of shock go from her to the colonel as the meaning of the command sunk in. He departed, closing the door behind him a little too firmly. And women are accused of being too emotional, Peggy thought sourly.

"Here," Phillips said, handing the folder over for Peggy's inspection. He watched as her eyes moved over the message. He took note of the way her jaw clenched to hide her emotions.

"The base they just located..." Peggy closed the folder and handed it back. "It's on the Romania line?" It was the dead of winter and any mission to that part of eastern Europe was not only highly dangerous, but also potentially deadly.

"Yes, they'll be heading into Russia next," Phillips revealed. "I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you, Colonel," Peggy said, she stood, put the files back on the chair and left the office.

* * *

Peggy sighed heavily as she locked the front door behind her. Another day at work done, another long night stretched out before her. She looked around the flat. It was relatively small, a tad cluttered at the moment, but she liked it. She'd like it better once Steve was home again. Her eyes fell to the knitting project she'd set aside the night before.

Was this what her life was going to be like? Now that the war was over, was she to be relegated to the sidelines, working a regular shift and then coming home to knit and embroider? That might be a nice life for other women, but she couldn't think of much that would be less satisfying. And what about when children came along? A late cycle the month before had nearly given Peggy a heart attack. She wanted children, specifically with Steve. She even had a list of baby names started. But not now. Not while her husband was out of the country with no idea when he'd be back. Not until her career was a little more secure.

Steve had been very vague, but from what little he'd mentioned, she had quite the career in her future. How had that started?

With nothing better to do that night, she cleaned out her pocketbook, made a cup of tea, and turned on the radio. The first thing to come on was a new radio show about Captain America, and a nurse, Betty Carver. She quickly changed the station to one that played a soft jazz tune. After cleaning her pistol, she picked up her latest knitting project. It didn't hold her interest, and she set it down after only a couple of rows. She needed to get out. She finally got her pocketbook and prepared to go to the automat she and Steve had gone to the night they'd gotten engaged.

As she was leaving the building, Mrs. Francitelli came up the stairs. Peggy nodded to the landlady and held the door open. "Good evening Mrs. Francatelli."

"Good evening, Mrs. Carter," Mrs. Francatelli said. "How are you?" It looked like her eyes were moist, and her nose pink.

"Doing well, I heard from Grant's commanding officer..."

They paused as there was a loud thump above them. "Who lives upstairs?" Peggy changed the subject.

"That would be the Oliviers."

There was an even louder thump, and what sounded like a dish shattering. Then the quiet sound of a woman weeping. "I'm sorry, Harold…."

Something in Peggy snapped.

Her pocketbook fell to the floor as she took her pistol out. Ignoring Mrs. Francitelli's gasp, she hurried up the stairs. There was another thump, and the door to unit G shook. Ignoring the yelling behind the door, Peggy pounded on it. "Open up!"

The yelling stopped, but nothing happened. Peggy knocked firmly. "Mr. Olivier, I suggest you open up." The door finally opened a crack. Before Mr. Olivier could say anything, Peggy lifted the pistol so Mr. Olivier could see it, she spoke evenly: "I suggest you never hurt your wife again." There was a pause. "If I hear, see, or even wonder if you've hurt your wife again, I won't give you warning that I'm coming through this door, have I made myself clear?"

There was blustering, and he moved. From the looks of it, Mrs. Olivier had slipped away from her husband and gone into the kitchen.

"Hey..." The man opened the door some more. "Ain't you..." For a heart stopping moment, Peggy thought he was going to recognize her as Captain America's girl. "Ain't you the downstairs dame?"

"My husband and I live downstairs, yes." Peggy said. "And neither of us are impressed by what we hear coming from your apartment."

"Your husband should keep his woman at home …."

"My husband is far more patient with your deficiencies as a neighbor and husband then I am." Peggy interrupted, "but you want to know something else my husband is?" Peggy paused for a moment before speaking again. "Not here, Mr Olivier. So he's not going to be able to stop me when I hear you again. I suggest that you figure out how to be a decent husband. I'll only ask you once more; have I made myself clear?"

If looks could kill, Peggy would have been buried, but as it was, she had the advantage. Finally, Mr. Olivier nodded curtly and then shut the door in Peggy's face.

Peggy turned to go downstairs, and came face to face with Mrs. Francitelli. The landlady gave Peggy a long look as Peggy swallowed hard. Was she about to get kicked out? Mrs. Francitelli held out Peggy's pocketbook and motioned for Peggy to follow her. They went to the ground floor and Mrs. Francitelli spoke quietly, so her voice didn't travel up the stairwell. "No need to pay January's rent, Mrs. Carter."

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I'm guessing at Dum Dum's rank, I couldn't find anything online and I figured they needed a Sergeant after Bucky "died", so they promoted him. If you know differently I'll be glad to adhere to canon.

_Please Review!_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Here's chapter 10, hope you all enjoy it!  
**_

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_**December 21st 1945:**_

Peggy strode into the office and put her pocketbook into her desk. She nodded a quick hello to the agent she was relieving, Agent Morrison. Unsurprisingly, Phillips was already in his office. Peggy was beginning to wonder if he slept on the couch there. She got to work and had almost cleared off her desk before anyone else got there.

"Carter, I need these typed up." Phillips handed her a small stack of files.

"I'll get it done." Peggy took the files and started getting her typewriter ready.

"After you're done today, you can take off until the 25th, I'll need you to man the phones with me that day."

Peggy was confused for a moment. She normally wouldn't have to work on Christmas day. She had enough seniority she should have been able to take the day off.

"You'll understand on Christmas day." Phillips answered her unasked question.

Peggy nodded, "All right."

The day passed quickly, but Peggy lost track of time and it was late when she headed home. When she got to the apartment building, Mrs. Francitelli stuck her head out of her door. "Mrs. Carter, I have something for you."

Curious, Peggy paused as Mrs. Francitelli ducked back inside her apartment and came out holding a bag. "Mr. Carter asked me to hold this and give it to you in case he wasn't home in time for Christmas."

"Thank you so much for holding it, Mrs. Francitelli." Peggy took the package and then went into her flat.

She set the parcel from Steve on the mantel, next to the gifts she had wrapped for him. She puttered around the house, tidying up a little and getting into something a little more comfortable. Finally, she went back to the mantel and pulled the gift down. She had the next week off, but she was too excited to wait.

There were three bundles in the bag Mrs. Francitelli had given her. She set one aside for Christmas day, but opened the other two. One bundle held a new tin of her face crème. Peggy smiled; even with the war over, this particular face crème was still hard to come by.

The second bundle was an envelope of drawings. The first was of her, brow furrowed in concentration as she spoke to someone not in the drawing. She recognized her uniform and then saw the date. "June 1943 Camp Lehigh. Drawn June 2011."

She turned to the next drawing. Here she was in her red dress at the bar where she and Steve had flirted after he'd come back with the 107th. Then she was in her uniform again, holding a gun aloft, pointing it towards the real her, she smiled as she remembered "testing the Shield" after seeing Steve kissing Lorraine.

There were at least another 10 drawings in the bundle but she set the rest of them aside. She'd look at the rest in the next few days. After putting the new face crème by her open tin in the bathroom, she went to bed.

* * *

Peggy woke up late on Christmas Eve. It surprised her that she slept in, but at least she didn't have anything to do that day. When she got to the kitchen, she realized that there wasn't enough food for breakfast, let alone Christmas Eve dinner. She'd spent so much time at work she hadn't kept the kitchen stocked properly.

She was coming home from the grocers when she saw a man standing in front of her door. "Mr. Jarvis." Howard's butler turned and gave her a kind smile.

"I was able to get the photographs developed for you…." He trailed off suddenly unsure how to refer to her.

"Mrs. Carter." Peggy said, "It's Mrs. Carter."

"I thought you'd like to have the pictures as soon as possible," Mr. Jarvis said. "I know my wife likes to look at our wedding pictures."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Jarvis." Peggy could feel Mrs. Francitelli's eyes on her. "I'd offer you a cup of tea, but I don't want to keep you from your wife. Besides, my husband is out of the country on Army business, it might give my landlady a heart attack if I invite another man into my flat."

Mr. Jarvis smiled, "I'm unable to stay anyway, Mr. Stark is having a Christmas party tomorrow and there's still quite a lot to do to prepare."

"Howard does love his parties," Peggy agreed. "Thank you for taking the time to develop them, Mr. Jarvis, I really do appreciate it." She took the packet of photographs and Mr. Jarvis left.

After putting the groceries away, she riffled through the pictures, smiling as she saw the frozen images of herself and Steve. Her eyes grew moist when she saw a candid picture Morita had taken, neither she nor Steve were looking at the camera, instead, they were looking at each other, oblivious to anyone else. Peggy wiped a tear away. She picked up a picture frame from the mantle and quickly slipped the picture in. For the rest of the day, she smiled whenever she passed mantel. Even with Steve gone on Howling Commando business, she was incredibly happy to be married to him.

Finally, she picked up the packet of drawings that she'd set aside a couple of days before. The next drawing was of her looking up, she was in a car with Colonel Phillips, Peggy realized that he'd drawn the last time he'd seen her before going into the ice.

Then she was entering the Stork club. Then on the steps of her old flat, carrying a couple of boxes, and her hair was down. She smiled, remembering the day she and Steve had packed up her old apartment and moved her to their shared flat.

The other drawings were of her; sitting on their sofa knitting. Cleaning her pistol, coming home from work. There were a couple of others of her during the war. The last one though, made Peggy blush. She was in the process of getting dressed, bent over, pulling her nylons on. There was a note. "When I get back, would you be willing to pose?"

* * *

Christmas day dawned bright and cold. After a quick cup of tea, Peggy left for work. She got there early and Agent Morrison left in a hurry. Several hours passed quietly. She'd gotten her desk nearly cleared off again when the phone rang in Phillips' office. He stuck his head out of his office. "Carter, phone."

Was this why she'd been called in on Christmas day? Peggy set her papers aside and went into the office. "Yes, Colonel?" Peggy took the phone as Phillips left the office. Peggy brought the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Peggy!" Peggy sank into the office chair at Colonel Phillips' desk, her throat constricted with relief. "Merry Christmas!"

"Oh my darling, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Peggy." Steve said quietly. "Did you get the Christmas gifts I set aside?"

"Mrs. Francitelli gave them to me the other day. I'm afraid I have no Christmas gift for you, darling." Peggy said, "I wasn't able to finish your gifts before you left."

"Hearing your voice is gift enough," Steve said, and Peggy smiled at the cheesy sentiment as she played with her necklace. She hated not being able to wear her ring, but it was too soon after Steve's "death" for her to have moved on. So she'd put the rings on a long chain and was able to wear them to work as long as they stayed under her blouse.

"And in answer to your question; I'd love to pose." Peggy smiled. She heard Steve clear his throat.

"Well, once I get back, we'll have to uhhh, do that." Steve said vaguely. For a moment Peggy was confused, had Steve forgotten what he'd written? But then she could hear someone speaking behind Steve and she understood, he hadn't wanted to be more specific in front of anyone else.

They talked for another ten minutes, only stopping when Steve had to get off of the phone. Peggy left Colonel Phillips' office to find him on the phone with someone else. He hung up the phone and looked up, solemn.

"What happened?" Peggy asked, her heart sinking, if she hadn't just been talking to Steve, she'd wonder if anything had happened to him.

"General Patton died," Phillips said.

Peggy sat in her chair with a thunk. "What?!" Her mouth dropped open. "I thought he was doing well after the car accident."

"Apparently not," Phillips said. He sighed deeply and got up. "I was planning on telling him about Rogers too. We could have gotten more munitions and…." He trailed off, frustrated.

"We'll figure it out," Peggy tried to be optimistic. "We've done more with less help and supplies."

Phillips nodded, "True," he agreed, and forced a smile as he moved towards his office. "You can go if you want. I only brought you in because we needed a secure line for Rogers to call in on."

Peggy smiled, "Thank you, for the call, Colonel." She pulled a book from her pocketbook. "I have a gift for you as well…."

Phillips took the wrapped book from her hand and smiled a thank you.

"I'll finish what I was working on," Peggy said. "I don't exactly have anything to do today."

Peggy finished with the paperwork in front of her fairly quickly, but didn't leave right away. Would they be able to find the munitions and supplies they needed? She knew Phillips didn't trust many of the Generals with the knowledge that Steve was alive, so he couldn't just tell them everything and expect all the extra supplies they needed.

Peggy sighed deeply, she wasn't looking forward to going back to the empty flat. Finally, though, she packed her pocketbook and left.

* * *

_**Please review!**_

General Patton died December 21st 1945 from injuries sustained in a car crash in Germany, he was buried in Europe with his men. I don't know how quickly news would have traveled, but I figure that it may have taken a few days to reach them.

_Please Review!_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Here's chapter 11, hope you all enjoy it! Forewarning, the F-Bomb is dropped pretty liberally in part of this chapter.  
**_

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**February 1st 1946;**

It was early evening when Peggy got home from work. As she approached the building, she could hear a loud voice upstairs and she listened carefully. Ever since she'd had it out with Mr. Olivier before Christmas, even the other residents had been quieter. She recognized Mr. Olivier's voice, but since he wasn't yelling or throwing anything, she prepared to go into hers and Steve's flat. She only stopped when she thought she heard Steve's voice. She turned and set the grocery bag down by the door.

There it was again. She quietly went to the bottom of the stairwell. "I don't care what your reasoning is; you don't treat your wife like shit," Steve was saying. Peggy's heart skipped a beat in joy. Steve was back?

"Your woman…." Mr. Olivier's voice started.

"Peggy," Steve emphasized her name, "did the same thing I would have done, if I'd been here." Mr. Olivier started to say something, but Steve kept talking over him. "I stand by what Peggy said or did." There were footsteps and a door opened. "If my wife had her gun out, you deserved anything you would have gotten. From the sounds of it, you're lucky she didn't shoot you anyway." The door closed and Peggy walked to the door of their flat as Steve came down the stairs. Steve had already unlocked it before she got home and she opened it and grabbed the bag of groceries.

Steve gave her a knowing look as she opened the door. As soon as the door closed behind them, he pulled her close for a kiss. "You were right, I was wrong," he said easily.

"I'd hoped you were right," Peggy said, as they kissed again. "When did you get in?"

"An hour ago." Steve took off his sweater. "Dum Dum's debriefing Phillips. I'm surprised you didn't run into him."

"I left a little early to go to the grocers," Peggy said, "he must have come in after I left." She buried her face in Steve's chest. "I missed you, my darling."

"I missed you too." Steve pressed a kiss to her hair as his hands slipped under her blouse.

"Did you get rubbers?" Peggy pulled back before they could go any further. "We used the rest of the tin on our honeymoon."

Steve stopped. "I didn't," he realized, stepping away from Peggy.

"I assumed Phillips would tell me when you'd be making your way back and I'd have a chance to get some, so I haven't either." Peggy smiled and turned him around, "Go get some, I'll get the groceries put up."

Steve grinned and buttoned his coat up as he left.

* * *

Friday night and Saturday were almost like a second honeymoon. But by the time Sunday afternoon and Monday morning rolled around, Peggy felt awful. The flu had been going around the office, and as much as she hated to admit, she might have caught it.

On Monday morning, Peggy was only able to drink a cup of tea and eat some toast. She was late for work but got started on her daily duties. She worked for less than an hour before needing to visit the ladies room. Peggy barely made it to the toilet before her meger breakfast made a second appearance. She wasn't sure how long it took, but she finally stood, stomach still rolling. But at least she didn't need to kneel in front of the toilet again.

She finally went back to her desk. Howard came up and she smiled at the sight of her old friend. "What are you doing here Howard?" she asked.

"Giving the higher-ups an update on the search," Howard said. "I'm surprised you weren't in the meeting."

"Haven't you heard?" Peggy asked dryly. "The war is over, I'm no longer needed except to type and file." She gestured to the stack of files on her desk, then looked up at her friend. "I'm assuming you still haven't found Steve."

Howard shook his head seriously. "No, and it's been long enough that the SSR is calling the search off. I'll keep going Peg, but the trail is pretty cold at this point..."

Peggy tried to arrange her face into a solemn expression. She grabbed another biscuit and took another slurp of tea, but Howard stopped talking, his head tilted, curiously. "What?" Peggy took another sip. She wished the tea were warmer, but it was better than nothing.

Howard stepped forward and reached out. Gently, he took the tea out of Peggy's hand. He set it on the desk and turned her hand over to play with her left ring finger. Peggy's heart stopped.

_Fuck._

She was at work.

She'd forgotten to take her ring off.

"What is this?" Howard's eyes flitted from Steve's ring to Peggy's face. The look of betrayal on Howard's face made Peggy's heart clench.

"I-"Peggy's mouth went dry. "Howard, it's not what you think."

"Peggy, it's not even been a year. How the fuck did you move on this fast?" Howard took a step back, eyeing her with a calculating look. "Steve would have moved heaven and Earth for you. This is the thanks he gets?" Howard asked, "Did you ever love him?"

The chair and desk rattled as Peggy abruptly stood. "Don't. You. _Dare_…." Her voice shook as she glared at Howard, who took a step back. "Don't. You bloody wanker. Don't you dare accuse me of not loving Steve. Everything I do is out of love for him." She stopped as a wave of nausea washed over her, she swallowed the bile and her eyes burned with tears.

"What the fuck…." Howard gestured to the ring. "I know he didn't give you the ring before he died Peg. You would have worn it before now. You would have said something. Hell, if he'd proposed, he would have shouted it from the fucking rooftops."

"Howard," Peggy swallowed hard. "There's a very good explanation-."

"Carter, are you all right?" Phillips walked by and interrupted their conversation. "You look like you're about to throw up."

"I'm fine, Colonel." Peggy shifted her hand so Phillips couldn't see the ring. Although Colonel Phillips knew she and Steve were married, she didn't want to be lectured for forgetting to take her ring off at work. "I caught the flu that's been going around. I'm still able to work, though."

Howard jerked, but didn't speak again until after Phillips walked away. He looked at Peggy, suddenly sympathetic. "Fuck Peg, I'm sorry. You don't have to pretend to be married. Marry me, I'll raise the baby like they're my own. I'm guessing the baby is Steve's child?" His eyes flitted down to Peggy's flat abdomen.

Peggy froze, half way through sitting down. What? "As kind as your offer is, Howard..." Peggy still resisted the urge to throw up. "...I'll have to decline." Peggy looked up at Howard as she took her ring off and opened the top drawer of her desk, she slipped her ring into her pocketbook and spoke again. "Come to dinner tomorrow. I'll give you answers then."

Howard nodded. "Of course."

Peggy scribbled on a paper before handing it to Howard. "My new address," she said. "7pm." Tears burned again and Peggy blinked quickly. "You can be a bloody wanker sometimes, but I've hated lying to you, if you'll believe that."

Howard nodded quietly, slipping the paper with her address on it into his pocket. "I do believe that Peg, I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Peggy smiled as she slid the lock into place and took her shoes off at the front door. The tea kettle was on the stove and Steve had left out the things she'd need to make a proper cup of tea. A note by the stove said he'd run down to the grocer and would be back soon.

She put the kettle on to boil and got out of her work clothes into something more comfortable. She slid her ring back on and paused in front of the full length mirror and pressed a hand to her abdomen. Did she look pregnant? She surely didn't look far enough along to be pregnant with Steve's baby nearly a year after his death. She sighed as she moved to the kitchen. She did want children with Steve, desperately. Hidden in her sock drawer was a list of names she wanted to use. But she also knew that at this point, a pregnancy and child would kill what little career she had. It was a difficult situation. She was just sitting down to drink her tea when Steve came in. He motioned for her to stay seated and hurried to the kitchen and then started unloading the groceries.

"We might be getting a new oven, I mentioned I was having trouble with it and Mrs. Francatelli said she'd have someone out here tomorrow to look at it. That's why dinner isn't ready yet."

"Well, we're going to need to eat here tomorrow, Howard is coming over," Peggy said. Steve's head poked out of the kitchen to look at her.

"Howard...Stark?" Steve asked.

"Do you know any other Howards?" Steve smiled at the gentle teasing. "Since I was sick this morning, I was distracted and forgot to take my ring off," Peggy explained. "As far as I know, Howard's the only one who saw." She sighed before taking a long drink of her tea. "He's under the impression I'm pregnant."

There was a thump as Steve dropped something in the kitchen. He stuck his head back around the wall. His boyish smile made Peggy's heart skip a beat. "Is there any chance..." He started, he stopped when Peggy shook her head.

"As if having the flu wasn't bad enough, I started my cycle at lunch. Thank God I had a Tampax with me." Peggy said. She nibbled on a biscuit. "Colonel Phillips mentioned I looked sick, I said it was a touch of flu. That in combination with the ring, Howard is assuming that I'm pregnant and pretending to be married so I don't have to give my child away." She cleared her throat delicately. "He offered to help raise the baby, if you can imagine that."

"Knowing how…." Steve stopped, "Well, you're smart, I'm sure you can figure that Howard might not be the best parent. I can see why you want him to come over to explain things."

"I nearly vomited," Peggy agreed, before taking another sip of tea. "He correctly guessed the baby would be yours though."

"Well, we'll talk to him tomorrow." Steve said, "What time is he getting here? Depending on the oven situation, I'll go to the diner tomorrow and get something hot for dinner and you can explain part of it before I get back."

"7pm." Peggy set her tea cup down and closed her eyes for a moment. "I was thinking of showing him the shield and compass, both of those are in the ice with you and he knows it."

"I'll get them out." Steve set a couple more biscuits on her plate and then disappeared into the kitchen to finish making dinner.

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	12. Chapter 12

_**Here's chapter 12, hope you all enjoy it!  
**_

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The next night, Peggy got home early, she and Steve quickly got a simple dinner ready for their date with Howard. Howard showed up right at 7pm, Jarvis in tow. Peggy couldn't find it in her to complain about Jarvis coming, and technically he knew about Steve already.

"Please, come in." Peggy moved so they could come through the door. Steve had gone into the bedroom to wait while she briefly explained things to Howard. "Thank you so much for coming, Howard. It's wonderful to see you, Mr. Jarvis."

Howard gave Peggy a look as she shut the door behind them. "What's up, Peg? You've been … odd lately. Got anything you want to disclose?" He looked pointedly at her midsection.

"Just what exactly are you implying, Howard?" Peggy asked, hands to her hips.

"Well, Peg, no one would blame you for making time in wartime …" he trailed off, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Peggy decided to face the accusation head on, fairly certain she knew what he was hinting at. "Howard, do you have any idea how long a woman is usually pregnant?"

Howard had the grace to look mollified, while Jarvis smirked from behind him.

"If Steve and I had …" she paused, "Well, I would have delivered some time ago. And I know you're not implying that I've let some other man into my bed."

"No, Peg, I'm sorry. You know I don't know anything about babies or anything. I didn't mean …"

Peggy sighed and changed the subject. "Would either of you like some tea?" She bustled around the kitchen, getting another place setting for Jarvis. "Dinner is almost ready."

"I would love some early grey if you have it," Jarvis said. Howard looked between Jarvis and Peggy for a moment.

"Funny thing Howard, about the search for Steve." Peggy finished putting the dishes on the table.

"You didn't exactly seem devastated at the prospect of the search being called off." Howard leaned against a wall, folding his arms across his chest. He looked over at Peggy, his look calculating. "That surprised me."

"I've been less than honest with you about a couple of things," Peggy said. As Jarvis' tea steeped, she pulled Steve's shield from behind the couch. She turned it so Howard could see it better.

It took Howard a moment to realize what he was looking at, he did a double take. "No." He said, at Peggy's smile, he started smiling too. "Really? How are you sure? How did he survive?!"

"It's incredibly complicated," Peggy said, "we may only give you the short version tonight. But it really is him, Howard. I've checked, Colonel Phillips' has checked. The Howling Commandos would know if he was an impostor..."

"He survived?" Peggy heard the bedroom door open.

"Yes, and we've been married since October." Peggy said.

Howard turned as Steve entered the living room. "How?" Howard's mouth dropped open at the sight of Steve.

"The serum," Steve said, "It helped me survive the plane crash."

"I knew it!" Howard and Steve hugged, then Howard turned and looked at Peggy. "You've been married since October?" He asked.

Peggy nodded, "Remember when I went to your house to ask for a favor regarding a friend who wanted to get married?"

"That was you!?" Howard sounded hurt and Peggy's heart clenched.

"I hated keeping it from you, Howard, but the fewer people who know the better." Peggy stepped forward. "Besides Jarvis, you're the only civilian. We haven't even told my mother."

Howard listened quietly, somewhat mollified. "I understand, Peg," He finally said, "I'm glad you're still alive, Steve." The two men hugged again. "I know there must be some story about how you survived."

"It's so fantastic, you'll think I'm lying," Steve said as they went to the table.

"Try me." Howard returned. "I can believe a lot." Howard noticed the wedding picture that Peggy had hung up in the kitchen. He peered at it closely. "If you didn't tell anyone..." He looked back at Peggy.

"Phillips, Morita and Pinkerton were at the wedding," Peggy said. "They took the pictures." She tried not to smile. "And then I actually took you up on the offer to have Jarvis help me with anything I needed."

"Those were the pictures Carter asked you to develop?" Howard turned. At Jarvis' nod, he scoffed. "You knew Captain Rogers was back and you didn't tell me?" Howard seemed only mildly annoyed at this point.

Jarvis looked at Howard, mildly amused, "Sir, you never asked me if Captain Rogers was back; if you had I would have been honest with you."

Peggy and Steve they were at the table, Steve gave Howard and Jarvis the short version of how he'd survived. Peggy noticed he left some details and people out. She wasn't sure why her husband didn't mention Tony and Vision, but she didn't correct him, she trusted Steve's reasoning.

"Was one of my inventions the reason you were able to thaw out and come back in time?" Howard asked eagerly. Peggy knew Howard was teasing, but Steve looked serious as he spoke.

"I can honestly say that what helped the most was your greatest creation."

"I knew it!" Howard laughed, Steve forced a smile and they continued to talk.

It was late when they finally finished and Howard and Jarvis left. Steve left with them, walking out to the street. "Howard," Steve waited until Howard and Jarvis were in the car to speak. "I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?" Howard asked, growing serious as he saw Steve's solemn face.

"Medical research," Steve said. "Alzheimer's, dementia." At Howard's confused look he clarified. "Memory issues. The brain."

Howard's head rocked back in understanding. "Me?" He asked.

Steve shook his head, surreptitiously looking upstairs to the window that looked out onto the street. Through the curtains; they could see Peggy moving around inside the kitchen.

Howard nodded, understanding. "I'll start working on it, and uhh, we won't tell Peg, will we, Jarvis?"

"No, sir." Jarvis agreed.

Steve smiled his thanks and turned to go back upstairs. "Steve. Grant, I mean." Howard corrected himself. "What about me?"

Steve forced a smile and teased Howard. "Who says you hadn't achieved immortality?" He quickly turned on his heel and went back up the stairs to the ground floor of the apartment building. He entered the flat, locking the door behind him. "How are you feeling?" Steve asked as Peggy finished cleaning up the dishes.

"A little tired, but over the flu, otherwise," Peggy said. Steve pressed a kiss to her hair and she smiled up at him. "I noticed you gave Howard an edited version of how you survived..."

Steve continued to help Peggy clear the table and start the dishes. "I told you the entire story," he said, "I figure you can keep a secret." Peggy nodded quietly as Steve continued to talk. "But there are people who..." Steve trailed off. "Just a minute." He dried his hands and left the kitchen. Peggy could hear him going through a drawer in the bedroom. He came back out and handed her a sketchbook.

Peggy recognized the sketchbook. She'd noticed him using it, but hadn't seen it since before the wedding. She carefully opened it. The first page had a drawing of several different people. It was labeled **_Avengers_**. She turned a page and there were two figures drawn. One full figure and a facial sketch. The full figure had on a metal suit of some kind, with fire coming out of his feet. The facial sketch showed a man older than she, he had wrinkles, but was smiling.

The bottom of the page was labeled _**Tony Stark, Iron Man**_.

"Stark?" Peggy looked up at Steve, "as in..."

"Howard's son," Steve confirmed. Peggy's eyes bugged out, Howard was going to have a child? He didn't exactly seem like the paternal type. "Tony was the reason the entire time travel thing worked in the first place. He was the one who figured it out. He was incredibly smart." Steve cleared his throat. "We didn't always have the best working relationship. He could be astoundingly selfish and had far too many narcissistic tendencies for us to be much more than work colleagues. But he sacrificed a lot and he was the one who finished off Thanos. I wouldn't be back here without him."

"There was a video I saw of Howard when he was older." Steve swallowed. "He called Tony his greatest creation."

Peggy turned to the next page. The figures weren't finished, but the labels were there. _**Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow**_. Steve cleared his throat, suddenly looking pained. _Natasha meant something to Steve_, Peggy realized.

_**Thor, God of Thunder**_ had a full page, as did _**Clint Barton, Hawkeye**_. She flipped a couple of pages, there was a drawing of a woman, her only name was _**Agent 13**_. Peggy wanted to continue looking, but Steve gently pulled the sketchbook out of her hands and closed it. He went back to the bedroom and she heard a drawer being pulled out and then shut again.

Peggy wanted to ask about Natasha, but she had the feeling that it was going to be difficult for Steve to talk about her. She was exhausted, so she made quick work of the dishes. Steve came back out, very quiet. He helped her finish the dishes and then they went to bed.

* * *

_Please Review!_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Here's chapter 13, hope you all enjoy it! Hope everyone is managing to survive Covid- quarantine.**  
_

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_**April 15th 1946**_

_**(On the France/ Germany border, in the woods near Strasbourg France.)**_

Peggy woke with a start, unsure of where she was. Then her memory caught up to her; she was in France with Steve and the Howling Commandos. They had needed a code breaker and she had flown out to help them, arriving at the Strasbourg airport 2 nights before. Yawning, she sat up in bed. She could hear new voices as she quickly pulled on shoes and ran a brush through her hair before tying it up.

She left hers and Steve's tent as Phillips walked up. She and Sawyer approached the campfire at the same time. Sawyer motioned for Peggy to grab breakfast first and she smiled her thanks before dishing up some eggs.

"Well," Peggy groaned internally as she heard an eager male voice. "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"

It was like a switch had flipped, the entire campground went silent. No less than half the Howling Commandos stopped what they were doing and glared at the man. Peggy turned to see the man who had interrupted more than one conversation she'd had with Colonel Phillips and flirted with her at work - Agent Porter. What was he doing here?

"_Agent Carter_," Dum Dum spoke up from the other side of the campfire, emphasizing her title. "is the best code-breaker we've got. That's why we have the best agent in the SSR here."

Porter scowled. Peggy was about to object. She knew she was a better agent than Porter, but she was far from the best agent in the SSR. Phillips interrupted any response either she or Porter could have made.

"You're not here to flirt, you're here to work," Phillips and three other men filed up to the campfire. "Everyone, find a place to sit."

Sawyer and Falsworth frogmarched Porter to a log and nearly forced him down. Peggy sat next to Steve and Dum Dum. Phillips introduced the new guys, "Porter, Renner, Holland and Jackson. They're your back up."

Without even looking at her husband, Peggy could tell that Steve had opinions about Porter being part of their back up team. Peggy didn't blame him, Porter was not her favorite person. She'd been happy to leave him behind when she'd been transferred to the New York SSR office the month before.

Phillips spoke, looking straight at Porter. "Even if you were a Captain during the war, Captain Rogers is your commanding officer." He turned so he could look at the rest of the men. "We have no less than three Hydra bases within 50 miles of here, and we are going to be taking the entire facilities and anyone in it. The only survivors I want to see are Allied forces."

"What do you mean _Allied_ Forces?" Porter interrupted, scowling. "I don't know of any _good_ soldier who would help Hydra." Beside her, Steve twitched. Peggy's blood boiled. Even if she didn't believe what Steve had told her about Hydra turning Bucky into the Winter Soldier, it didn't take a genius to figure out that Hydra wouldn't treat Allied Forces with any respect.

"We have reason to believe that Hydra is experimenting on soldiers who are missing or believed killed in action." Phillips said easily, but the twitch of his jaw told Peggy that he didn't like Porters' tone either. "We have also heard a rumor that they might defend Hydra, they've been tortured so severely that even in the face of Allied troops, they might not understand that we're here to help them and they might fight us in an effort to help Hydra. Every effort needs to be made to bring those soldiers in _alive_ so they can be taken to the States or to London to get medical help and be re-educated."

Porter didn't look happy with Phillips' answer, but the rest of the Commandos looked satisfied. Phillips paused for a moment to allow for more questions before turning to Steve. "Captain Rogers."

Steve got up and addressed the group. "The closest Hydra facility is only 10 miles from here, but I want to send out an advance team to scope out the second and third one before the rest of us get there. Holland, you speak French, correct?" Steve asked. At the man's nod, Steve continued. "Carter, Jones, Dernier and Holland. I want you four to go and figure out the layout of the facilities and find any weak points."

Steve had always been good at strategy and was done handing out assignments less then an hour later. Afterwards, Peggy packed a bag and went to the truck they were going to take. It would take days to walk to the other two Hydra bases and they needed to get there as quickly as possible. She could hear Porter whining to Phillips about having a girl along for the ride.

Peggy threw her bag in the back of the truck and went around to the front where Jones and Dernier were arguing in French about who got to drive. "We'll go in alphabetical order of surnames." Peggy decided, plucking the keys from Jones' hands, "which means I'm first." Steve was walking by and hid a snort of laughter. "Do we happen to have a camera?" Peggy asked.

"In the back," Jones said, "It's not the best, but it'll take pictures."

Peggy nodded and the four of them got into the truck. The drive to their nearest assignment, 20 miles away, was surprisingly quick and quiet. "Has it always been this easy?" Peggy asked Jones and Dernier. "I expected roadblocks and having to pull off the road."

"Ever since the war ended, it's been increasingly easier to travel in Germany." Dernier replied, in French.

Peggy nodded and parked the truck a couple of miles from the base, they got out and walked the rest of the way. After positioning themselves at an entrance, Peggy started taking mental notes. There was a patrol every hour, they carried standard Hydra weapons and Peggy could tell this would be an easy one for the Howling Commandos to take down.

The rest of the Howling Commandos joined them a couple of days later. Peggy noticed that Porter had a black eye and broken nose, Dum Dum's right hand was bruised and scraped, Peggy wondered if the two of them had gotten into a fight. Falsworth joined the advance party and they left for the 3rd Hydra base.

It took nearly a full day before they found it. They could only find one entrance, patrols were every 20 minutes and the guards carried energy blasters that looked more advanced than the ones Peggy had seen during the war.

"They've got this one wrapped up tight." Peggy said when the rest of the Howling Commandos got there., "Something big is in there. We haven't been able to see inside."

Steve and Phillips looked at the entrance. "I can tell this is going to take more than a couple of days to figure out." Steve said, Phillips nodded in agreement.

"We'll stay a few days to get some more intel about this location," Phillips said, "but I know some of us have to go back to the states."

Another 48 hours by the Hydra base didn't tell them much that was new. Only that a local farmer brought a delivery of fresh vegetables and some meat every week and one guard went into town to do some shopping. The amount of food they brought in didn't match up to the amount of people they could see guarding the base.

Peggy, Phillips, and Porter left France to go back to the States. Steve was in the middle of planning a heist that would, hopefully, give them some insight into the base. As they flew from France to London, Peggy tried not to worry about her husband. Less than a week later, the Howling Commandos were back in the States. Steve had managed to convince the farmer who delivered the vegetables to insist on taking it to the kitchen. He'd managed to take pictures and they needed to be developed and analyzed.

When the pictures were developed, they all went over to Colonel Phillips' house to analyse the pictures and make a plan for the Hydra base.

Peggy peered close to the pictures. Steve had mentioned that picture quality was better in the future and she hoped that future would come quickly, these pictures were very grainy. She set one picture aside and then picked up a new one. The picture quality was marginally better and she lent closer to the light, trying to make out anything that would help them take down the base. She froze. It was almost as if time slowed down. Was that...?

Peggy reached behind her, grabbing the nearest Howling Commando as he walked by. "Look at this." She shoved the picture into Dum Dum's hand. "Is this who I think it is?" She didn't dare say an actual name.

Dum Dum peered at the photo, bringing it closer to the light. Peggy could tell when he came to the same conclusion she had. Dum Dum looked up, his mouth working, speechless for once. "I knew Cap was telling the truth; but I wondered _how_..." Dum Dum finally spoke in a whisper.

"Steve!" Peggy spoke loudly enough to get Steve's attention. Her husband looked over from the kitchen table.

"Yes?"

Peggy swallowed hard, hoping she was right. "I'm fairly certain we've found Bucky."

* * *

_I know Bucky was brainwashed by HYDRA, but the term 'brainwash' wasn't used often until about the Korean war, which started in 1950. So, for now, Phillips is explaining what brainwashing is rather then using the actual term._

_Please Review!_


	14. Chapter 14

**Here's chapter 14! I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

**May 1st, 1946**:

**France/Germany border, near Strasbourg France.**

Steve glanced around him, where the Howling Commandos were clustered. "We're going in pretty blind, we didn't get many pictures of the interior and we don't know the layout. Stay with your partner and watch each other's six." The Howling Commandos nodded quietly and the group got into position.

For how many guards there were, it was almost too easy to get in. But what they found inside made Steve sick. Numerous Allied troops, all enduring some form of torture. Blessedly, the compound floor plan was easy to figure out. This factory strongly reminded Steve of the one in Kreischberg, where Bucky had been tortured before.

The Commandos managed to take over the base, but the fight took hours. Thankfully some of the wounded Allies on the base were mentally and physically able to fight and once the Commandos were in the base, they helped take it over. There were several injuries, Sawyer, Pinkerton, Falsworth, and Jones among them, and not all of the prisoners survived to see rescue.

Bucky was in bad shape. Whatever HYDRA had done to him, it made Bucky fight back _hard_. He had a new prosthetic arm and it seemed to be acting on its own. It took no less than 6 soldiers, not counting Steve, and all the sedatives they could find in the base to subdue Bucky enough to get to London. Phillips pulled some strings and Bucky only stayed in London long enough to get another couple heavy doses of sedatives, then he and several of the other Commandos were put on a flight back home.

Peggy learned of Bucky's survival when Colonel Phillips came to the New York office of the SSR and asked her boss if he could borrow her for a couple of days. Dooley waved Peggy away and she happily grabbed her pocketbook.

Colonel Phillips took Peggy to Brooklyn Naval Hospital; he breezed past the welcome desk, Peggy trying to keep up. Peggy got a fleeting glance of the Howling Commandos in the waiting room, but Phillips kept walking and she followed him to an elevator. He hit the button for the top floor and the elevator started to ascend.

"None of the Howling Commandos have clearance to go up here," Phillips said. "So I'll need you to act as liaison again. God knows they'll try to sneak up here if they don't get updates on him."

Peggy nodded. "Of course," she agreed, surprised DumDum and Steve were still in the waiting room. Knowing them, they were planning a heist to get upstairs. "How is Barnes?"

"Successfully killed one agent in Russia, tried to kill three agents since then, and had to be given three times the normal dosage of sedative to calm him down," Phillips responded.

Peggy blew out a breath. "Is he still asleep?"

"He was an hour ago when I left to get you," Phillips said. "I've called Stark in too, Barnes has a new arm, some kind of technology I'm not familiar with."

"The possibility of a new limb was mentioned," Peggy remembered Steve saying something. She spoke carefully, unsure if there were bugs in the elevator. "My...source said Hydra had been experimenting with prosthetics." They locked eyes and Peggy knew that Phillips understood her reluctance to say anything identifying about Steve.

"Whatever it is, I need Stark's expertise," Phillips said. "He'll be here in an hour." He took in a breath. "We don't know how much Barnes remembers the past couple of days. I don't know if we can trust the doctor's here to know about our...informant," Phillips hedged, "best not to say too much right now. Lie if we have to."

Peggy nodded, she'd assumed they wouldn't be able to say much about Steve just yet. She only hoped that they wouldn't have to lie to Bucky. The elevator doors opened and they both stepped out into a hallway. There was a desk in front of the elevator door and a nurse turned as the doors opened.

"Agent Carter is with me," Phillips said.

The nurse nodded and waved them forward. "He's still in the same room."

The floor was nearly empty, with only a couple of nurses and a single doctor that Peggy could see. They walked past empty offices and rooms. "This floor is mainly offices," Phillips said, "but Barnes can't be with the general population just yet." Peggy made a noise in agreement. "How is he, Doctor?" Phillips asked the military doctor.

"Still sleeping, but his vitals are good," the doctor said. "I expect he'll be waking up soon."

Peggy felt her heart clench as she looked at Bucky. Peggy had liked him, even without Barnes being Steve's best friend, Barnes had been a good soldier and a good leader. He was much paler then she remembered, had at least a week's stubble and his hair was longer than the military regulation cut he'd had during the war. There were numerous cuts, bruises, and scrapes in various stages of healing. It was clear HYDRA had been busy since the end of the war.

"Based on how violent he was on the trip here, we have him restrained, but I hope to take the restraints off soon." The doctor moved to another part of the room and both Peggy and Phillips sat by Bucky's bedside. "Now that he's home and no longer in danger, he should be able to calm down."

Peggy hoped the doctor was right, and that Bucky would heal quickly from the mental and physical wounds HYDRA had inflicted upon him. It was only a few minutes until Bucky started moving, fighting against the restraints. Peggy got up. "Sergeant Barnes?" She asked, "It's Agent Carter, it's all right, you're safe."

"Sergeant Barnes," Bucky moaned. "32557038..."

"It's alright." Peggy gently reached for his right hand. Bucky jerked back, suddenly wide awake, eyes wide, panicking. His breathing got erratic and Peggy swallowed nervously. "Sergeant Barnes, you're in New York. You're safe."

Bucky fought against the restraints again, looking up at Peggy in fear. Peggy lowered her voice so Bucky would have to concentrate on listening to her. "It's all right, Bucky."

The doctor walked up to the three of them. "Hello Sergeant Barnes, my name is Doctor Johnson. I'm going to be tending to you while you heal."

"Where am I?" Bucky asked Peggy swallowed back tears as she heard the confusion and fear in his voice. Dr. Johnson moved to the other side of the bed.

Peggy spoke, "you're in New York City. The war is over."

Slowly, recognition dawned on Bucky's face. "I know you," he said, "Where's Steve?" His voice rose, "Steve?"

Before Peggy could answer Bucky's question, Dr. Johnson reached for Bucky's metal arm. The change was instantaneous - Bucky lunged forward, eyes wide and dark. His metal arm ripped through the restraints. He reached Doctor Johnson and his metal hand grasped the doctor's neck. Peggy reached across the bed for Bucky's metal arm. "Bucky, no!" Peggy was thrown back by Bucky's flesh arm, she hit the wall and fell to the ground, groaning.

"No!" Phillips roared, he moved around the bed to Dr. Johnson. Several nurses came in and one darted to where Peggy had been standing and stuck a needle in Bucky's neck. She moved so quickly there wasn't a chance to stop her. It took a moment but the drugs took effect. Bucky let go of Dr. Johnson's neck and the doctor fell back, gasping. Peggy moved so she was sitting up on the floor.

"I used the strongest stuff we had," the nurse said, "Thank God I had it ready."

Dr. Johnson glared at the nurse. "Nurse Wiggins, he's been sedated enough, I said no more."

"I saved your life, Dr. Johnson," The nurse stated, voice flat. Peggy got up off the ground. "He's violent."

"Only after I touched his prosthetic." Dr. Johnson returned, his voice still raspy. The nurse scoffed and the doctor turned to her, eyes dark. "Nurse Wiggins," He said carefully, "no more sedative unless I prescribe it. Is that understood?"

Even though she couldn't see the nurse's face, Peggy could tell from her body language the nurse did not like being dressed down, especially in front of the other nurses. "Yes, Doctor," she said quietly.

"Thank you," Dr. Johnson said, "I trust we won't have any issues from now on, Nurse?"

"No." The nurse's tone was just short of insubordination.

"I'm glad we've come to an understanding," Dr. Johnson said coldly, "you can leave the room now, I need to gain Sergeant Barnes' trust."

The nurse left the room, and Dr. Johnson turned to Phillips and Peggy. "I won't allow her to be around Sergeant Barnes again."

"Thank you," Peggy said, "I have a feeling it's going to take a long time for Barnes to heal."

Dr. Johnson's eyebrows furrowed. "We need to have your eye looked at." Peggy turned to a mirror in the room to see that her eye was turning pink.

"Barnes must have punched me," she said, gingerly touching her cheek.

"Let's get your eye looked at while we wait for Sergeant Barnes to wake up again." Dr. Johnson said. Peggy shot a look behind her as they left the room. Bucky was staring in her direction, eyes blank. Peggy swallowed back tears. She truly hoped that they would be able to get through to Bucky.

* * *

_**The numbers that Bucky moans when he wakes up are what google says his serial number is. For those who don't know, if/when a soldier is captured they were supposed to only give their captors their rank and serial number. If I got Bucky's serial number wrong, I'll be happy to edit and adhere to canon.**_

_**Dr. Johnson is loosely based off of a friend of mine, who served with the VA for years. She worked with those who were recovering from brain injuries and treated patients in a long term care facility until they were able to take care of themselves in the real world. Her service is a little more complicated than that, but I wanted to give her some privacy, so I changed her gender and last name.**_

_**Brooklyn Naval hospital closed its doors in 1948, but all branches of the military could have gotten care there, the "naval" part of the name only meant it was located on a naval base.**_

_**Please review!**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's chapter 15! I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

_**May 5th 1946**_

The next morning, Peggy arrived at the hospital early. She went directly to the elevator and up to the top floor. Peggy greeted the nurse at the desk and asked her how Bucky had done overnight.

"Sergeant Barnes didn't sleep until about 4am," Nurse Anderson said. Peggy glanced at the clock, 7:30. "He kept saying 'the Asset doesn't sleep'. I think Nurse Wiggins wanted to sedate him again, but he finally grew so exhausted he fell asleep."

Peggy nodded. "Thank you, Nurse." She went to Bucky's room, holding the bag she and Steve had packed the night before. There were a couple of books and some handknit socks that Peggy had originally made for Steve. It wasn't much, but Steve had suggested taking Bucky some things to make the hospital room a little less clinical.

Bucky was still asleep when she stepped in. "How is he?" Dr. Johnson was already there, making notes on the clipboard in his hands.

"He was very confused when he came out of the second sedation yesterday," Dr. Johnson said. His voice was still a bit raspy, and there was a bruised imprint of Bucky's hand around Dr. Johnson' neck, "I tried to tell him that he was in the states, but I don't think he believed me."

Peggy nodded. "Is it alright if I stay all day today?" she asked, "I have a couple of days off work."

"You have my permission to stay," Dr. Johnson said. "I think it will be good for him to have visitors who aren't doctors. Barnes does have several appointments though. Stark and O'Malley might ask you to leave, but I'm happy to have you stay."

"What appointments does he have?" Peggy asked.

"With everything that went on yesterday, Stark didn't get a good look at the arm." Dr. Johnson said, "and Doctor O'Malley is going to be coming after lunch to do a psychological evaluation."

"I doubt Stark will ask me to leave," Peggy said, "We've worked together before. He'll probably ask me to take notes."

Dr. Johnson nodded, "Nurse Anderson told me last night that Stark was flirting with her. Please tell him not to do that again."

Peggy closed her eyes in annoyance and sighed heavily. Damn Howard and his amorous tendencies. "I'll speak with Stark, but no promises on his actions." Dr. Johnson left the room and Peggy sat in the chair next to Bucky's bed and pulled out her knitting. She got part of the way done with a hat before Bucky started moving. Peggy set her knitting aside and stood. "Bucky?" she asked.

"Sergeant James Barnes..." Bucky said, he wasn't moaning this time and his voice sounded a bit stronger. "32557038..."

"Bucky, you're all right," Peggy said, just as Dr. Johnson and Howard walked in. She motioned for them to stop in the doorway. "It's alright, you're safe."

Bucky opened his eyes, they didn't look as lifeless as they had the day before, which Peggy was glad of. "You're new," Bucky said, pulling back from her. She didn't move any closer, to keep from frightening him even more.

"We're friends, Bucky."

"How do you know my name?" Bucky fought against the restraints again, but they held him back. It pleasantly surprised Peggy that he didn't use the same brute force she'd seen the day before and rip through the restraints.

"We're friends," Peggy repeated, she smiled. "It's alright, you're safe."

"Where am I? Who are they?"

"You're in New York, Brooklyn Naval Hospital," Peggy responded." You're in the states, the war is over. These two men are Howard Stark and Dr. Johnson. They've come to help care for you while you heal."

Bucky swallowed hard. "I know you," he said quietly, recognizing her again. "We work together."

Peggy smiled, "Yes, we did. We worked together during the war."

"Carter," Bucky remembered. "We worked with Steve." Bucky looked confused. "Where's Steve?"

Of course, the first words out of Bucky's mouth were a question about Steve.

Peggy swallowed hard. "I - Bucky, I'm so sorry," She blinked back tears, hating that she had to lie to him. "But Steve..." Her voice caught. "There was a plane crash..."

Bucky's jaw went slack, "What?... I thought the serum..."

"We didn't foresee a plane crash," Peggy said quietly. "It all happened so quickly, there wasn't a way to get his coordinates and..." she broke off. Even though Steve was back, the pain of losing the love of her life still broke her heart.

"But I saw him!" Bucky insisted, "Before I blacked out, in the base...It _was_ Steve...Then I woke up here."

"It must be an old memory," Dr. Johnson spoke up. "Or you were hallucinating." He stepped forward to the foot of Bucky's bed. "I'm not surprised. With all the torture you endured, your memory is sure to need a lot of time to recover."

Peggy pulled out her handkerchief from her purse and wiped her eyes. Bucky tried to raise his arms to his face, but the restraints stopped him. Bucky's face crumpled again. His devastation was clear. It reminded Peggy of how badly Steve had taken Bucky's death. She had to turn away as Bucky cried, and her own tears fell. She hated lying to Bucky, but they couldn't tell him the truth for now. They didn't know if Dr. Johnson would be able to keep the secret. And what of all the nurses?

At the sound of Bucky's sobs, a nurse ran up, a needle in one hand. Dr. Johnson motioned for her to stop. Peggy recognized Nurse Wiggins from the day before.

"He just found out his best friend died," Dr. Johnson said harshly. "Get that out of here. I told you no more sedatives."

Nurse Wiggins frowned, her mouth pinching even more.

"He's going through shell shock and he just found out that his best friend died," Dr. Johnson repeated before the nurse could object. "He doesn't need another sedative. Get. That. Out. Of. Here."

Nurse Wiggins' jaw set. "He'll injure you again, Doctor."

Bucky stopped crying so suddenly that Peggy turned in concern. He was staring at Nurse Wiggins in fear, his eyes wide, leaning as far back as possible in the bed. His breathing hitched and his legs worked under the blankets. It took Peggy a moment to figure out what Bucky was doing. He was trying to push against the bed to get further away from Nurse Wiggins, who was holding a needle and vial of medicine. "Sergeant Barnes 32557038..."

Dr. Johnson strode across the room, turned Nurse Wiggins around, and guided her out of the room. "Out!"

Bucky kept struggling to breathe and Peggy stepped forward. "She won't hurt you, Bucky." Peggy took a chance and stroked Bucky's long hair back. "It's all right." She tried to keep her voice low and soothing. "I won't let her in again."

"Sergeant Barnes 3, 2, 5, 5...7, 0, 3, 8..." Bucky tried to breathe between numbers, but he still struggled.

"Bucky," Peggy repeated since he hadn't lashed out when she brushed his hair out of his face, she took his bare hand. "You're safe, Nurse Wiggins won't hurt you."

"Sergeant Barnes," Bucky repeated. "32557038." He leaned to the side, away from Peggy.

Peggy stepped back, dropping Bucky's hand, "It's all right,"

It took a minute, but his breathing evened out. Peggy could smell something foul and Bucky shifted nervously. He breathed in deeply and refused to look at Peggy now. He fought against the restraints, uselessly. "Get out." He growled harshly to Peggy, "Out! NOW! OUT!" Peggy instinctively moved out of the way of the arm swinging near her.

Dr. Johnson interrupted, kindly, "I'll have to ask you to leave for a moment, Agent, we'll need to clean up Sergeant Barnes."

Peggy nodded and moved out to the hall. She could see Colonel Phillips exiting the elevator and she strode towards him. "Colonel Phillips." She greeted her commanding officer. "When are you going to notify Barnes' family? I'd like to go with you."

Phillips paused. "I'll let you know when I go," He said carefully, "I'd already planned on bringing you, and Dugan to notify them."

Something in Phillips' tone concerned Peggy, "When were you planning on telling them? Aren't the Commandos supposed to leave for Italy next week?"

Phillips gave Peggy a look. "Common sense needs to override your heart, Agent." One of Peggy's eyebrows arched at his comment. What did Phillips mean by that? Her commanding officer took in a breath. "I won't be telling them right away."

"What? Why?!" Peggy asked, her voice rising in anger. He didn't plan on telling Bucky's family he was alive? Colonel Phillips just intended to let them continue to think that their son and brother was dead?

"He's too volatile right now. We don't have a good enough grip on his mental state. His arm is too much of a wild card. He could lash out at his family. We need to concentrate on getting him better, rather than what his parents want, and they'll want him home."

"They need to know," Peggy insisted. "Maybe we could just say he isn't up for visitors..."

"I doubt that's going to work, Agent," Phillips scoffed. "I'll tell them," he promised. "Just not until he's able to receive civilian visitors."

"Colonel," Peggy pleaded. "I know what it's like to think your loved one is dead."

"I know you know what this is like, but I'm Barnes' commanding officer, not you," Phillips pulled rank. "Don't tell them."

Peggy took a deep breath to keep her temper from getting the better of her. "Yes, Colonel." Phillips continued to look at her, sternly. "You have my word," Peggy finally added quietly, and honestly.

That seemed to satisfy Colonel Phillips and he turned towards the direction of Bucky's room. "Thank you, Agent."

* * *

**_I have a feeling people aren't going to like Phillips in this chapter, but I think that his decision to not immediately tell the Barnes' family is in character._ **_**  
**_

_**Please review!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Here's chapter 16! I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

_**May 5th 1946:**_

When Peggy and Colonel Phillips entered Bucky's room again, it was after lunch. The room smelled much better, Bucky was in clean clothes, and the restraints were undone. His hair was wet and his bruises looked more healed.

"Sergeant," Phillips greeted warmly, "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," Bucky said, he gave Phillips a long look. "We worked together, too." His brow furrowed as he tried to remember. "You're...General?"

Phillips chuckled, "I'm flattered, but no, Colonel. Colonel Phillips. You're right that we worked together, I'm your commanding officer and we both worked for the SSR."

"And it was HYDRA who captured me," Bucky said slowly, unsure.

"That's right." Colonel Phillips said, "The Howling Commandos were taking down a HYDRA base and they found you and brought you home."

"My memory isn't very good, I don't remember much about you," Bucky said tensely, giving Colonel Phillips a careful look as if he wondered if Phillips would strike him if Bucky didn't remember properly.

"We didn't work together often. I usually gave orders to Captain Rogers." Phillips said. Bucky's eyes filled with tears again.

"HYDRA did some pretty nasty stuff to you, so it'll take a while for you to get back to normal." Howard spoke up now, and Dr. Johnson nodded in agreement. "In my not-so-humble opinion, we've got the best minds in New York working on you. You should be back to normal soon."

There was silence for a short time. Dr. Johnson did something with his clipboard and asked Bucky a few questions about how he felt or about his new prosthetic.

"I don't like that nurse." Bucky finally said, quietly. Silently, Peggy agreed with Bucky, what was Nurse Wiggins' problem?

"I'll have her assigned to a different floor." Dr. Johnson promised. "I put the paperwork in last night, but it might take a few days for her transfer to go through. Until then, I've asked Nurses Anderson and Williams to keep an eye on her. Nurse Wiggins won't be in charge of your care from now on. Even if my request is denied."

Bucky raised his hands to rub his forehead. There was a whirring sound and the prosthetic arm moved just like a flesh arm would. "God, my head hurts."

"I'll get you a headache powder," Dr. Johnson said.

"No shots?" Bucky asked nervously.

"No shots." Dr. Johnson promised. He stuck his head out of the hospital room. "Nurse Williams, could you please get me a Goody's powder and some water?"

"Yes, Doctor." A minute later, Nurse Williams returned with the envelope of powder, a cup, and a pitcher of water. The nurse set it all on the overbed table and then Doctor Johnson rolled it over to Bucky so he could reach it.

Peggy was surprised that Dr. Johnson didn't prepare the powder. Instead, Dr. Johnson made notes when Bucky started doing it himself. Howard also looked on with interest as Bucky quietly got the powder ready.

Peggy could hardly believe that the prosthetic arm wasn't real. It moved so seamlessly that the only indications that it was metal were some clicking sounds and the coloring. Bucky had to think to control the metal arm, but he was able to open the powder and mix it with the glass of water just as he would have been able to with a flesh arm. Bucky made a face at the taste, but drank the full glass.

"Now," Howard stepped forward, "Would it be all right if I examined your prosthetic arm more closely?"

Bucky shrugged. "Yeah, that's fine."

Howard turned to Phillips, Peggy, and Dr. Johnson as he moved the tray table to another part of the room. "Unless Sergeant Barnes starts attacking me, don't interrupt."

"I'll try not to hurt you," Bucky said quietly.

"From the sounds of it, this thing has a mind of its own," Howard said easily, "I'll be fine."

Peggy bit her lip in worry. Would Bucky lash out again? Howard reached out for the prosthetic. As he touched it, Bucky froze. Howard didn't say anything, but was gentle as he picked up Bucky's metal hand. "This almost looks like..." Howard stopped talking as Bucky's metal hand turned and grabbed Howard's elbow, gripping it tightly. "No," Howard addressed the room at large as both Peggy and Phillips took a step forward. "Don't."

Peggy stood poised, ready to step in again if needed. Bucky's eyes were blank and his jaw set in a way Peggy had never seen. It scared her. Howard struggled to get Bucky's hand off without becoming violent.

Finally, when Howard gave an involuntary groan of pain, Peggy couldn't bear it any longer and she stepped forward. "Bucky," she touched his bare arm. "Bucky, it's all right." Surprisingly, Bucky still didn't lash out and Peggy gently cupped Bucky's cheek and turned his face towards her. "Bucky, let go of Howard." The fact that she was easily able to turn his head made Peggy momentarily glad. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to reach Bucky.

Howard managed to slip his elbow out of Bucky's grip and he stepped back. Life returned to Bucky's eyes and he looked around. "What happened?" he asked. "My memory..."

"Howard Stark was examining your prosthetic," Peggy said.

"Did I hurt you?" Bucky turned to Howard, and Peggy's hand dropped from his face. Peggy could hear a note of desperation in Bucky's voice.

"Not badly," Howard said honestly, moving his arm at the elbow. "You grabbed my elbow, but it's not broken."

"You didn't react like you did yesterday, which is good. This told us a lot." Dr. Johnson looked up from his clipboard. "We'll have a lot to tell Dr. O'Malley when he gets here."

"Who's Doctor O'Malley?" Bucky asked.

"He'll be doing your psychological evaluation," Dr. Johnson said.

Bucky's brow furrowed. "I ain't gonna see no damn shrink. I'm fine, I just need a few days of actual rest..."

"If you ever want to get out of the hospital, you will see Dr. O'Malley," Dr. Johnson insisted. "We need a professional to get a handle on your mental state."

Bucky's eyes darkened. Peggy briefly wondered if this was going to set him off again. But when he spoke, it was only to ask the date.

"May 5th, 1946," Peggy assumed that Bucky would want the full date. "I'll bring you a calendar the next time I come in. You fell from the train in February of 1945."

"It's been over a year?" Bucky's eyes widened. "When did Steve...?"

"A full year, on the 15th." Peggy quietly gave the date of the plane crash.

Bucky nodded, before he could answer, there was a knock on the door and a redheaded doctor stepped in. "My name is Doctor O'Malley," he said, "Doctor Johnson?"

"I'm Doctor Johnson," the doctor said. The two doctors shook hands as Doctor O'Malley looked around. "Now, unless he'd like someone here, I'll need to speak with Sergeant Barnes alone."

"I'm sure they all have better things to do then to hang on my every word when I'm talking with a fucking shrink." Bucky said shortly. If he'd asked, Peggy would have gladly stayed, but it was clear that Bucky didn't want visitors anymore, so she grabbed her purse.

Peggy lay a hand on Bucky's right arm. "There's a couple of errands I need to run, but I'll be by tomorrow, Bucky."

As she moved away, Bucky gently grabbed Peggy's arm. He looked up at Peggy, eyes filled with tears. "You're Steve's girl," he said quietly.

Peggy smiled, glad she wouldn't have to lie about this. "Yes," she agreed, "I'm Steve's girl."

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_**Please review!**_


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's chapter 17! I hope you all enjoy it.**

**_I'm taking a lot of creative license about psychiatric care in the '40s. I couldn't find much on google and I've only seen Captain Newman M.D. a couple of times. With Bucky being rescued from HYDRA and having super soldier healing ability, I figure things will be different with his medical care anyway._**

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_**May 5th, 1946**_

Peggy slipped her shoes off as she entered the flat and smiled as she heard Steve moving around the kitchen. He was home from Commando's work for a couple of weeks and he liked to cook. In the future, Steve had learned how to cook and some of the meals he made were delicious. She wasn't going to complain. She liked coming home to find dinner nearly ready. "Smells amazing." She bit back a giggle as she saw Steve wearing her apron as he moved around the kitchen. "What's on the menu tonight, darling?"

Steve poured her a cup of hot water and Peggy began making her nightly cup of tea. "Pot Roast with carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, and onions," Steve said. "And if it's setting correctly, a banana cream pie is in the refrigerator for dessert."

"You're a magician in the kitchen, darling." They kissed as they passed each other, Steve began setting the table, and Peggy finished making her tea.

"How's Bucky doing?" Peggy quickly gave an update on Bucky and what had happened earlier that day. Steve was quiet as they finished getting dinner ready. As her tea steeped, Peggy told Steve about Nurse Wiggins, then her conversation with Phillips wanting to keep Bucky's survival from his family for a while longer.

"I did a lot of research about HYDRA when I woke up, I don't remember anyone with the last name of Wiggins," Steve said, "It's good that Doctor Johnson is asking for her to be transferred, though." Steve opened the oven and pulled out the roast pan. Peggy's mouth watered at the smell.

"I also agree with Phillips not telling the Barnes'," Steve said as they sat down. "I can see your point of view as well though. I think initially, it will be easier for him to heal with professionals there all the time instead of hoping his family doesn't say the wrong thing."

Steve was right, of course. And she knew Phillips was right. She just didn't like it. Steve dished up a plate of pot roast and she dug in, starving. But before she could finish her plate, there was a knock on the door. She got up and opened the door to find Howard Stark.

Howard only spoke when the door was closed. "Can I see your Shield?" he asked Steve. "I think Barnes' arm is made out of Vibranium, but I'll need both the arm and Shield to compare..."

"The arm he had in the future was made out of Vibranium," Steve revealed. "It wouldn't surprise me if this one was as well. I didn't expect him to already have the prosthetic, otherwise, I would have said something before. Although this arm looks different from the one he had in the future."

"I thought your shield was made out of the only Vibranium on earth?" Peggy asked.

"There's more." Steve took a long sip from his glass of water. "But I can't remember where it was found." Peggy pursed her lips. Had Steve just lied to Howard?

Howard shrugged, believing Steve. "I'd like to get the arm taken off and to experiment on it." He opened a cupboard and found a plate, then he started dishing himself up a plate.

"If anyone has to experiment on it, I want it to be you," Steve said, "but you'll have to talk to Phillips and Dr. Johnson about that. It wasn't easy to get the arm off in the future. Hopefully, that won't be the case right now."

Howard sat across from Steve and the three of them talked for several hours about Bucky, and what would need to be done to help bring their friend home.

As they were getting ready for bed, Peggy gave Steve a careful look. "Why do I get the feeling you were less than honest with Howard about the location of the vibranium?"

"Because I was," Steve said, they locked eyes in the mirror. "Howard is a good friend, but he's opportunistic and I don't fully trust he won't try and go to Africa to get more. I'm sure Bucky would agree he can have the arm if it would keep Howard from mining in Africa."

Peggy nodded in agreement, Steve was right. Howard would never turn down the opportunity to make more money. Mining vibranium and selling it would turn a hefty profit.

The next morning, Peggy, Howard, Phillips, requested a meeting with Dr. Johnson, but just as they were meeting him at the elevator they heard a shout and a nurse came running from Bucky's room.

"Doctor, it's Sergeant Barnes." Nurse Stewart ran up.

Peggy could hear yelling coming from down the hall and the four of them raced to Bucky's room.

Nurse Anderson was in the hallway by Bucky's room, a cup in her hands. "I was just putting the pitcher in his room..." she said, eyes wide. "I didn't mean to disturb..."

Dr. Johnson flew past her, with Peggy and Nurse Stewart on his heels.

"No! No! Stop!" Bucky was thrashing, Peggy could see the restraints were straining, but Bucky didn't use his brute strength to rip through them.

"Stay back!" Dr. Johnson commanded with the tone of an officer. Peggy stood poised, ready to step in if needed, but Dr. Johnson approached Bucky on his right side.

"Sergeant, breathe," Dr. Johnson changed his tone to a soothing one, "listen to my voice." It took several minutes for Bucky to calm down, but he did and Dr. Johnson stepped back. Peggy took the time to glance around the room. A plastic pitcher of water was in the middle of a puddle on the floor by Bucky's bed.

"She wasn't the mean nurse?" Bucky asked. He was still breathing deeply, trying to calm down.

"Nurse Wiggins isn't working today, who you saw was Nurse Anderson. Did she try to hurt you?"

"I heard a clatter," Bucky gestured in the direction of his over bed table. "I thought it was Nurse Wiggins again. Anderson didn't touch me."

Nurse Anderson looked ready to cry. She still held the cup and she motioned to the overbed table and the puddle. "I was just replacing the water pitcher."

"I misunderstood," Bucky looked haunted, but he forced a smile. "I'm sorry, Nurse Anderson, I didn't mean to scare you."

Nurse Anderson relaxed a little, "I should have been quieter," she said as she set the cup onto the overbed table and pulled a towel from a cupboard.

Dr. Johnson motioned for Peggy and Phillips to leave the room and then spoke to Bucky, "I need to go speak with Colonel Phillips, I'll be right back to see how your other injuries are healing." At Bucky's nod, Dr. Johnson took Phillips, Peggy, and Howard to the file room that served as his office. "What did you need to speak with me about?"

"What have you figured out about the arm?" Howard spoke before Phillips could say anything.

"Made of metal. Steel, maybe? It's very light for steel though, especially considering how big the arm is." Dr. Johnson said. "It moves somewhat like a normal arm, but Sergeant Barens does have to concentrate on using it. I've noticed an improvement in the past 24 hours, but it will take time for him to get used to it."

Based on what Doctor Johnson was saying, Peggy was now convinced that Howard was right and the arm was made out of Vibranium.

"I think Sergeant Barnes' arm is made out of the same metal that I made Captain America's shield from, but I'll need the arm off of Barnes and in my lab to make sure," Howard said.

"I agree that the arm will probably need to come off at some point." Dr. Johnson said. "He discussed with Doctor O'Malley yesterday how much he hated the arm. But it seems pretty well attached and I worry that it would cause more harm than good to take it off right now. To even do this surgery, I would need four things," Dr. Johnson said. "Most importantly; I would need Sergeant Barnes to agree to it, then I would get Doctor O'Malley's opinion. And I want to wait until Sergeant Barnes is physically healed from his other injuries. Based on what I've seen, I'm not sure if we could take the prosthetic without taking a portion of his trapezius with it." At Peggy and Phillips' confusion, Dr. Johnson motioned with a hand between his neck and shoulder. "This part of the body. I'll want to get a third and fourth opinion about how to take the arm off."

Howard opened his mouth to object, but Phillips spoke. "Of course doctor. This is all theoretical right now. Barnes may not even want the arm taken off if the other option is getting a new, lesser prosthetic."

"I think it would do more harm than good right now," Dr. Johnson repeated. "He would have to go under heavy sedation again to go through surgery. He's been in the country for less than a week. He's just starting to calm down."

Considering how wary Bucky was of everything and how volatile he'd been, Peggy couldn't help but agree with Dr. Johnson.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Here's chapter 18! I hope you all enjoy it.**

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_**May 15th, 1946; New York; Brooklyn Naval Hospital.**_

"I'm surprised you're here," Phillips greeted Peggy as she walked into Bucky's hospital room.

Peggy rolled her eyes. "Dooley said he knew I'd '_need today off for the anniversary_.' I'd rather work, but Dooley didn't give me a choice. Since the Howling Commandos left for Italy yesterday, I don't have many friends to spend time with today." Peggy turned to Bucky, softening. "I brought you some more things, Bucky, to help brighten up your room."

Bucky smiled stiffly "Thanks, Carter." Nothing was going to brighten up the sterile white walls, but he appreciated her gesture.

Peggy placed the bag on the desk while Nurse Anderson brought in Bucky's breakfast. Peggy pulled out her knitting as Nurse Anderson turned the radio on. Of course, with Peggy's luck, '_The Captain America Radio Show_' was playing. She made a face and nearly got up to turn it to another station, but Bucky seemed intrigued, so she grudgingly let it play.

"Betty Carver?" Bucky asked, he looked ready to laugh, but assumed a serious expression when he noticed Peggy's furrowed brow. "This is awful," he commented after listening for several minutes. "How long has this been on the air?"

"I first heard it six months ago," Peggy said, counting the stitches on her knitting needles. She didn't say anything further, instead, she paid attention to his reaction.

"This is awful," Bucky repeated, more forcefully. "Can we turn it off?"

As Phillips changed the station, Peggy couldn't help but smile at the request. She was glad to know that she wasn't the only one who disliked the radio show. They listened to a Jazz station until Nurse Anderson arrived to take away Bucky's breakfast tray. She quietly turned it back to the Captain America Radio Show as she bustled around the room.

"Please turn that back to the music station," Bucky ordered. "I don't want to listen to the Captain America show."

Nurse Anderson made a disapproving noise but turned the radio station back without complaint. After she left the room, Peggy spoke again. "That show is awful. I can't believe people like it."

"How they wrote the Howling Commandos is... insulting," Bucky agreed.

"How they wrote Betty Carver is _especially_ insulting when you're Captain America's whore," Peggy said bitterly, remembering comments that Thompson and Krzeminski had made a couple of days earlier.

A cup clattered to the ground, spilling its contents as Bucky's mouth dropped open in shock. "What?" he asked sharply.

Peggy waved a hand in dismissal. "Steve and I didn't do more than kiss before his death. But a lot of men, especially those at the SSR, think that I slept my way into my job."

"Do you mean to tell me that time in the car wasn't the first time Rogers had ever been kissed?" Peggy gulped. She'd forgotten Phillips was in the room.

"No, Colonel. Steve and I had kissed previously." She cleared her throat. "A couple of times."

"A couple of times?" Bucky laughed. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Carter, but January of '45? Didn't you and Steve steal a few moments in that barn we were staying the night? Somewhere in Russia? Falsworth couldn't look you in the eye for a week after he walked in on you two."

Peggy flushed as Phillips coughed behind her. Nurse Anderson came in to mop the milk up, "Germany," she gently corrected Bucky, "but other than that, you're right."

"Christmas of '44?" Bucky asked, brow furrowing as he tried to remember. "We had a secret Santa..."

"Yes. Steve and I picked each other as our secret Santa." Peggy quietly chuckled at the memory. "We actually ended up getting each other the same thing."

"Check with Dum-Dum, but I think he rigged the Secret Santa," Bucky said. "For you and Steve, at least."

Peggy couldn't help but laugh. "That sounds like Dum Dum."

"What's in the bag?" Bucky asked, somewhat abruptly changing the subject.

"I brought you some books and a few other items," Peggy said. She opened it up and pulled out the children's books Steve suggested she take. Steve hadn't visited the hospital since the day Bucky had originally returned stateside. He and the rest of the Howling Commandos had spent a few weeks in New York before returning to the field.

Peggy spread the books onto Bucky's tray table. _Anne of Green Gables; The Story of Doctor DoLittle,_ and _The Box-Car Children_. "I know these are children's books, but I thought the simpler language might help with your headaches," Peggy offered. "Dr. Johnson said you get them if you read for too long."

"I get headaches if I do anything for too long," Bucky retorted, sifting through the books. "I loved this one." He thumbed through The Story of Doctor DoLittle.

Peggy forced a look of surprise. Steve had given her ideas on books to bring, hoping that his favorite books would help Bucky's memory. "Oh, I had no idea. The used bookstore only had a few children's books, and I grabbed what was available."

"Funny," Bucky said, he picked up Anne of Green Gables and turned it over in his hands, "Ma used to read this to Becca and I when we were little, too."

"Really?" Peggy pretended to act amazed at the coincidence.. "How odd that I brought those books today."

Colonel Phillips cleared his throat, clearly not believing Peggy's faux surprise.

"I also brought a journal," Peggy said, changing the subject. She set it and a couple of pencils on Bucky's tray table. "I heard that writing in a journal can help with memory retrieval."

Bucky smiled wanly. "Thank you, Carter." He looked at Anne of Green Gables, then looked to Phillips and then Peggy. "I know Phillips said my family can't visit until I'm out of quarantine. But is there a way you could look in on them? See how they're doing?" Bucky's voice was almost pleading.

Peggy could feel Phillips' eyes boring into the back of her head. "Of course, we can. What are your parents' names?" Peggy gently inquired.

"Winnifred and George Barnes," Bucky recited from memory. "They live on Camden Road," he paused, brow furrowing. "I think." He rubbed his head, "God, my fucking memory..."

"I'll check on them and see how things are," Peggy promised. Even if Bucky couldn't remember his parent's address, she could look it up; the SSR had his file.

Bucky sighed with relief. "Thank you, Carter."

The rest of the day passed swiftly, and soon, Peggy and Phillips were preparing to leave the hospital for the night. Once they were in the elevator, Phillips looked over at Peggy, an open question on his face. "The books." It came out as a statement, but Peggy could hear the question.

"Our mutual informant suggested it," Peggy admitted softly., "He thought it might help Barnes' memory. Same with the journal." She swallowed hard as she confessed "Our informant took several psychology courses but never finished his degree. Knowing what I know about him and... everything he knows, I'm inclined to believe him if he says something might help."

Phillips nodded in agreement. The elevator opened and they left, passing Nurse Wiggins, who had been reassigned to the front desk earlier that week. Peggy and Phillips paused outside the front doors. "You still have my word that I won't tell the Barnes family about Bucky still being alive. But God, Colonel..." Peggy paused, overcome with emotion. "I can only imagine how Becca Barnes feels. Her brother is dead, at least to her knowledge."

"It's for the best, Carter. We can't risk damaging his mental health any further."

"I understand. At the very least, Bucky deserves to know how his family is doing, even if we can't tell them right away."

Phillips' features softened-a bit. "I know you have opinions about how I'm handling the Barnes situation; you'll be there when I tell them he's still alive," he acquiesced.

Despite the reassurances, Peggy couldn't help but wonder if not telling the Barnes family about Bucky was really the best idea. The longer they put it off, the greater the risk of it potentially blowing up in their faces. No matter how they played this, there was no good outcome for anyone-especially Bucky.

Peggy looked at her watch. "Look at the time.I need to run some errands before the shops close. I'll see you tomorrow." They parted, and Peggy went directly to the phone company building. Thankfully Rose was there and let Peggy up to the SSR.

Peggy breezed right past the bullpen and made a beeline for the file room. She knew roughly where Barnes' file would be. But as she turned the corner, she stopped in surprise as she nearly ran into Agent Sousa.

"Hey, Carter, what are you doing here? I thought you had the day off?" Sousa shifted on his crutch and his head tilted as he tried to comprehend her sudden appearance.

"I-" Caught by surprise, Peggy's mind turned frantically. She knew Phillips hadn't told the SSR about Bucky yet. His being alive was given out on a strict need to know. She was relatively sure Sousa could be trusted with the knowledge that Bucky was alive. But if she told him about Bucky, would she have to tell him that Steve was alive? Could he keep that secret? Better yet, was it worth a court-martial?

"Carter?" Sousa probed gently.

An unexpected sob slipped and she latched on to it. "I-I'm really struggling," she confessed the half-truth. "I just miss Steve so much, and-and I thought maybe looking up his next of kin would help." Tears filled her eyes. "I know Steve wrote home about me, and I wanted to see who he was writing to and..." She covered her mouth to stifle another sob.

"It's okay." Sousa pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her. "Don't cry, don't cry," he soothed. It came out more like an order than a comfort. Peggy wiped her eyes and gave a well-placed sniffle. "What's the last name?" he inquired.. "Did Rogers have a D or just a G?"

Peggy shook her head. "Both parents died before he joined. Steve wrote to the Barnes family. You remember his best friend who died during the war."

"Yeah, I heard about Barnes and the train," Sousa said, "B-A-R..." he trailed off.

"N-E-S." Peggy finished as Sousa walked over to the B's. "I just need his parent's address..."

Sousa handed Peggy the file. "You gonna be okay, Carter?" he asked, voice soft with concern. No matter how much blood and fighting he had seen on the battlefield, there was something about a woman's tears that made the most hardened warrior feel inferior.

Peggy was surprised at how touched she was at Sousa's concern. "I'll be fine," Peggy forced a watery smile. "I'm just struggling today."

Sousa smiled at her now. "It's only been a year. You'll do better as time passes. At least that's what my grandmother said."

Peggy smiled at the unexpected turn, but she held up the file. "Thank you, Sousa," she took in a breath, pretending to steady her feelings. "It pains me to admit this, but I agree that Dooley was right to give me the day off. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention to anyone that I was...here? Especially him?"

Sousa smiled, and for a brief moment, it appeared as though he was blushing, but Peggy pushed that thought away. "I doubt he'd believe me if I told him you agreed with him on anything," Sousa remarked with a small chuckle. "Your secret is safe with me." He hobbled away.

"Thank you," Peggy called out again. Once the coast was clear, she flipped open the file and scribbled down the address into her planner. Shoving the planner back in her purse, she closed the file and placed it back in the file cabinet, and quickly left the SSR.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Here's chapter 19! I hope you all enjoy it.**

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_**June 18th, 1946- New York; Brooklyn Naval Hospital**_

"Good Morning, Clara," Peggy greeted the nurse as she exited the elevator on Bucky's floor. "How was your date last night?"

Nurse Clara Anderson beamed and put her left hand out. A ring sparkled, and Peggy gasped happily. "Congratulations!" She stepped forward to get a better look at the ring. "When's the big day?"

"David's brother gets home in a few months and he wants Thomas to be his best man, so we're waiting until then," Clara said. "Probably October."

Peggy was surprised at the way her heart suddenly clenched. "October is a wonderful month to be married in," she murmured, suddenly feeling alone.

"You're invited," Clara beamed. "I'll need a bridesmaid."

"Of course I'll come," Peggy eagerly accepted the impromptu invite, "and I'll be happy to stand with you on your big day, Clara."

"Oh, thank you, Peggy! My father and sister live in Kentucky, and I don't think they'll be able to travel here." Clara forced a tight smile. "October is harvest month. Dad can't leave the farm."

It was on the tip of Peggy's tongue to say that her mother hadn't been at her wedding, but telling Clara would only cause more grief than it solved, so she settled for asking a passing Nurse Stewart how Bucky had done overnight.

"Another easy night," Nurse Stewart shook her head. "Sergeant Barnes always has difficult days after these; I hope we're able to figure this out soon."

"A few days ago," Peggy started uneasily, "Sergeant Barnes was having a difficult day, and he called me a liar."

"I remember that." Nurse Stewart confirmed. "I was stunned; he doesn't normally say cruel things. Although, I was surprised he was so nice to me-not everyone is nice to a colored nurse-but he's always been very polite to me and Nurses Anderson and Cole."

Before Clara could respond, a commotion from Bucky's room made all three women double-time down the hallway. Dr. Johnson and Nurse Stewart got to Bucky's room first. "Get away!" Bucky was fighting against the restraints, "NO! STOP!"

Peggy paused outside Bucky's door. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but when she'd been in the room he'd lashed out at her. So, she chose to wait until the storm passed, instead of adding another log to the fire.

"Oh God! I just want this to stop!" Bucky sounded near tears. "Just make it stop!"

Keeping his voice calm and low, Dr. Johnson's tone was soothing to his patient and Peggy, who leaned against the wall outside of Bucky's room and took deep breaths. Peggy couldn't help but think that they were missing something obvious that would help Bucky. But what could that missing piece be?

"Has anyone found out how my Ma's doing?" Bucky asked. The abrupt change of subject no longer surprised Peggy; Bucky did it regularly after he had a fit. Peggy straightened her spine. This was an area where she could help. Plastering a smile on her face and holding her head high, she entered Bucky's hospital room.

"Funny you say that just as I walk up, Sargeant." Peggy greeted cheerily, "I did find your family. Do you want the update?"

Bucky eyed her warily. "It depends. Am I going to like it?"

Peggy sat in her usual chair and took a deep breath to steel herself for the news she was about to give Bucky. "Well, there is good news and bad news, I'm afraid. Your father, he..."

"No, not Pops." Bucky's shoulders sagged, and tears filled his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bucky, I truly wish I had better news about your dad. He died just before Christmas," Peggy relayed the heartbreaking news.

"Do you know what it was?" Bucky swallowed hard. Dr. Johnson undid the restraints. Bucky moved his arms and arched his back a little as Peggy kept talking.

"He was in the hospital for tuberculosis," Peggy said quietly. She didn't tell Bucky that she was sure malnutrition had something to do with Mr. Barnes' death. While the States hadn't had the same rations that England had, there were still restrictions on food during the war.

Bucky's barking laugh surprised her. "Steve practically lives with us, and exposes us to God only knows what from the hospital where his mother worked, and my father gets TB after they both die." One tear leaked out of Bucky's eyes, and he brushed at it impatiently. "How's Ma?"

"She moved in with Becca and her husband." Peggy continued. "When I saw them, she appeared to be in good health."

"Appeared to be?" Bucky asked with skepticism.

"I didn't get the chance to talk with them, I only saw them on the street," Peggy said, purposely omitting that she'd made sure not to talk with either Mrs. Barnes or Becca Proctor. While she knew she could keep a secret, she didn't want them to figure out who she was, quite yet. Steve had written to the Barnes family about her, and she didn't want to lie to them.

Bucky nodded quietly as he digested the news about his family. "Becca's married?" He asked, one eyebrow rose. Peggy remembered Bucky talking about his sister, Becca, how much he'd cared for her.

"His name is Leland Proctor," Peggy offered up the tidbit of information..

Bucky scowled. "That prick?!" he asked, his brow furrowed. "At least I think he's a prick. I remember going to school with a Leland who was a prick." He shrugged indifferently as he failed to make the connection. "Becca's probably too good for him anyway."

"From what I witnessed, he treated Becca with great love," Peggy said, remembering the couple she'd seen. "They seemed excited about the baby coming."

Bucky looked genuinely surprised by the newsflash. "She's pregnant?"

Peggy nodded. She gestured with a hand to show how far along Becca was, then she pulled a knitting project from her purse. "That's what gave me the idea to knit a baby hat.." The yellow yarn made Bucky smile wistfully.

"The socks you gave me," Bucky said quietly. "Were those for Steve?"

It took a moment for Peggy to remember what Bucky was talking about. The socks she'd brought the first day she'd come to visit. Upon Steve's urging, Peggy had given Bucky a pair of socks she'd knit for Steve. "Initially, yes, I meant for them to be for Steve, but there's no use to have them sitting around my flat unworn," Peggy tried not to lie. To her knowledge, Steve was in Norway, so he wouldn't be wearing the socks, even if he hadn't given them to Bucky.

Bucky looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. "You two ever have that dance?"

Peggy swallowed hard as she tried to frame her answer into a well-meaning omission. "We were planning on waiting until after the war. So, no, we didn't get to dance."

Bucky gave her a long intense look before nodding in understanding.

Hoping her question wouldn't set Bucky off, Peggy took in a breath. "I have a question Bucky. . . the last time I visited, you called me a liar." If she hadn't been looking for a potential reaction she wouldn't have noticed Bucky's eyes widening-it was that subtle. "To my knowledge, I haven't lied to you. What were you talking about?"

Bucky stared at her for a long moment, before he glanced away. "Nothing, Carter. Just my brain was. . . I wasn't having a good day."

Briefly, Peggy wondered if Bucky was lying to her. But it wouldn't do to get paranoid, so she let it go. "Well, that's all I've been able to find out about your family. I wish I'd been able to talk with them."

"Thanks for the information you were able to get, Carter, I appreciate it," Bucky said, but his tone held defeat.

Doctor O'Malley knocked on the door and stepped into the hospital room. Bucky didn't like to have visitors during his therapy sessions, so Peggy took that as her cue to leave.

Peggy forced a smile at Mrs. Francatelli as she entered the apartment building. "Good evening, Mrs. Francatelli," Peggy greeted. "How are you today?"

The older woman looked up and smiled. "Doing well, and you darling? You look a little poorly."

"Just worried about Grant," Peggy lied, keeping her fingers crossed behind her purse. "And my boss at the Phone company isn't happy to have a married woman on the payroll. He keeps saying that a married woman should be at home."

"It did surprise me that you're still working, Mrs. Carter. Back in my day women stayed home," Mrs. Francatelli opined wistfully. "Although I'm glad you and your husband are quiet tenants."

"I need to keep busy." Peggy defended her employment. "With Grant away with the Army and I'm not expecting yet, what's the use in staying home? Grant and I want to get a house anyway. My income is going into our savings."

Mrs. Francatelli nodded and spoke, "There are times I wish we'd done that. Maybe my Patrick wouldn't have died in the first war if he'd been part of a different unit..." Her voice lowered. "But times were different then."

Twenty minutes later, Peggy finally escaped Mrs. Francatelli's ramblings and slipped into her flat. She quickly got a cuppa ready and sat down to rest. She wished she could talk to Michael. Her brother had been her confidant since they were children, and talking with him had always made her feel better. Her heart squeezed painfully.

Steve and Bucky had survived, so, why not Micheal, too? But it was futile to hope for a miracle. Micheal had been gone much longer than Steve or Bucky. Finally, Peggy pulled out the journal she'd bought and flipped it open. She'd kept one, years ago, but had gotten out of the habit of divulging her deepest, darkest secrets. But recently, perhaps due to having a close friend or confidant, she wrote down her feelings-more out of necessity than recording history.

For a long while, she stared at the blank page. Finally, she grabbed a pencil and started writing.

_"Dear Micheal, I've met the most wonderful man. His name is Steve, and he's the love of my life..."_

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